I've realised I'm a functional alcoholic

[primroseknows]

Day 2 of no drinking wine and it's hit me. I am actually a functional alcoholic.

I drink nearly a bottle of wine a night and have done for as long as I can remember, apart from during pregnancies.

There's always an excuse for not quitting, whether it's a social occasion that I can't face sober, or something stupid like 'it's Saturday and I'm cooking a nice curry so I'll need a drink to enjoy myself while doing cooking'.

Ironically I am a HCP and I am more than aware of the damage alcohol does both physically and mentally.

I'm sat here now, wondering why I drink and it's habit. Pure and utter habit.

My husband drinks the same as me and we've always enjoyed it together so I guess we are both enablers.

I know I don't need professional help at this stage because I ironically have the training to know what I need to do. It's the willpower.

I think I'm posting here for my own accountability but also in the hope others have either managed to kick the wine witch long term, or are also in the process of doing so.

You can do it. I drank far too much in covid, with the constant excuses... lock down, stress, boredom, lonliness.
I started wine free in the week then found that come the weekend I didnt want to waste it being hungover so it became less and less attractive. I still drink. But if I do I try and have a week or two without to let my body recover. When i drink i usually have 1-2 bottles of wine. Its too much but its not often anymore. Start with small goals.

Well done for stopping. I found Annie Grace, This Naked Mind really good for changing my view of alcohol. It makes you see through all the marketing and see that it is just poison that makes you feel worse. Might be worth a read if you haven't already.

Brave of you to post. What's your plan? I don't have as much as you but I do like a couple of glasses every night and it's very definitely out of habit. When I don't drink for a few days I realise that I can still relax, I can still enjoy a meal and I won't wake up feeling sore headed. I just found out that a medical condition I have is exacerbated by alcohol and it's the kick up the arse I needed to cut back severely. I now only drink at weekends or on holiday but I find that by Friday I'm not really that bothered actually and could go without. The wine actually tastes a bit strong and I only want one glass. Good luck.

I second using the Annie Grace 30 Day Challenge and buying her book, This Naked Mind.

I’m 3 years sober in August and, while stopping was the hardest thing I’ve done, it was also the best.

Stock up Sour Patch Kids and Haribo - in the early days you’ll get sugar cravings. Be really nice to yourself. Do anything you need to get through the ten-minute craving attacks - a bath, a walk, a mini-yoga session, even screaming into a cushion!

Meditation is very helpful. I did Jeff Warren’s 30 Day beginners’ yoga on the Calm app, along with the Annie Grace challenge.

Good luck!

Yes, read This Naked Mind and listen to the One for the Road podcast.

Hey. Congratulations on your two days. Once you get used to it, you’ll be fine.

I would recommend having some nice drinks to have in the evening. I am a big fan of Yorkshire Tea’s ‘bedtime tea’ and Barley Cup. Or having some caffeine free coke, or alcohol free beer if you want something more ‘out on the town-ish’.

I was in a supermarket today queuing in the alcohol aisle. It feels so weird to see all these shelves of stuff that isn’t for me. In the past I would have been looking, thinking “ooh maybe I’ll try that”. It’s been nearly a year. I’ve had all sorts of occasions completely sober now - and just today I was thinking that I’d even do karaoke sober now! 😂

I was you in the sense that I drank daily purely out of habit, though not as much as that. When the realisation hit me, I did a dry June because I wanted to know whether I was dependent. And if I was, I was never going to drink again.

Turned out that reset was the best thing I ever did. It was actually quite easy, and I'm now comfortably within the guidelines. That means I can buy much better stuff for when I do have a drink!

It also helped me see that my late husband was an actual alcoholic and the realisation started the process of dealing with that.

Thank you all for your kind responses.
I have actually tried Annie Grace before and it kept me on the straight and narrow for a good while so I'm definately going back to that.

I'm prepared for the sugar cravings, I have some healthier versions of some treats (nothing drastic, just lower sugar chocolate etc as I have a few weight issues in that it finally a healthy weight so don't want to jeopardise that in this process).

I would LOVE to be one of those people who doesn't even think about habits a drink. It's funny really, im horrified when someone just casually picks up a Mars bar or something in the shop infront of me like it's a snack, but im the idiot who is putting away so many empty calories in this liquid poison.

In bed now with a highlights hot chocolate having had a serious heart to heart with my husband who is also fully on board with us changing.

It sounds like you are all set to stop. I hope things are still going well.

Hello, just checking in really to give an update. I stopped drinking the day I posted this. Did have a slip and had a glass of red wine with a meal on Saturday but other than that haven't had any alcohol and don't really plan on having any for a good while either.
Ideally I would like to be able to have one night a week of sharing a bottle of wine with DH but at the moment it's too early to be officially moderating.
I had horrendous paranoia and palpitations for a few days. Fortunately my colleagues are well placed to have helped me. Don't want to go through that ever again!

Very well done!

Well done you!

Well done, OP. Soon you'll start seeing the benefits of better skin and better sleep and you won't look back, whether you end up teetotal or moderate.

Well done OP!

I think it is sensible to avoid completely for a while, until you feel you can drink moderately. Imo, I think it would be a lot harder to be moderate than teetotal because even a small amount of alcohol can affect your judgement, so another glass seems like a nice idea….

i was in a similar position, now over 20 months sober. Read all the quit lit, listen to
podcasts, join online communities, etc.

Congratulations! I'm 6 weeks into "seriously discussing quitting but failing to do it" and I'm so frustrated with myself. I'll have a look at the Annie Grace stuff.

Ironically, I can't ring the AA for help as my father is one of the people on the AA hotline, 15 years sober. Not so much "Anonymous" to say "hi dad" to a responder. Yikes.

Please may I show off? If I can do this, you lot can.

Congratulations @LunaNorth

1334 days today here. :)

A life changing book, podcast and her IG is also great. I'm 5.5 years AF as a result of Annie.

OP you've got this. We shouldn't feel bad for becoming addicted to what is an addictive substance that is marketed so heavily to us and is completely acceptable.

I am over 6 months AF because of Annie.
i never thought I could do this!
I found Catherine Grays book, the unexpected joy of being sober brilliant - lots of other great Quit Lit out there which really helps

Hi OP how’s it going and have you and your partner managed to stay sober or moderate

Also curious to know how you are going? I was listening to a radio segment on the way home from work yesterday . I live overseas and the Dr was speaking about how the WHO has classified alcohol as a class 1 carcinogen , with no level being considered safe. I love red wine but over the last eight years ( since moving overseas and also going into Menopause) I have massively cut down on alcohol. I now drink weekends only and probably have 4 glasses of wine. I know it's not good for me but I love it. clearly not a drinking issue but I do wonder where we will end up with official drinking advice. I have been toying with HRT and weighing up risks and benefits. Drinking alcohol - even tiny amounts is a stronger risk than HRT .
🍷😠

Another vote for Annie Grace. She got me off alcohol after decades of heavy drinking

I'm also curious about how it's going OP.

Also for those who recommended Annie Grace, is that about total abstinence or "just" a healthy/controlled attitude around alcohol?