My alcoholic sis & social service

[Tuesdaychild]

My sister, who I have been very close to all of my life, has developed an alcohol problem, this is affected her ability to look after her children. Due to finding out that she left my 10 year old nephew alone overnight, I've had no choice but to report this to social services. She often leaves her 10 year old with his older brother (18) while she goes out drinking and not returning for a day or two meaning 10 year old gets himself
to school and back not knowing when or of mum will be home or if he will see her that day. He relies on older brother for care during these periods.
I'm livid and mortified that this been happening and beside myself won't worry for the boys,
What are social services likely to do? What if she minimises her actions and the kids are left to their own devices continuously.

Is their dad on the scene?

He's hardly on the scene, he lives a while away and sees them once every 2 weeks however, I have kept him in the loop and he is aware of my concerns and agrees with me. Yet he hasn't taken the children to live with him.

Depends on the 18 year old. If he's being left in charge then there's not much of an issue in a child being left with a competent adult.

Can you not step in to protect your nephew from neglect in the meantime? Social services will hopefully wade in soon and offer them all support.

Was the 10 year alone, or alone with his 18 year old brother? The two are pretty different.

Nevertheless, living with an alcoholic parent is never good for a child. What is his father's justification for not seeking custody?

I can step in and take my nephew only if he has been left alone without older brother, and until mum collects him otherwise I can't just take him as I have no legal rights. When my older nephew goes work in the morning, younger nephew is getting himself ready for school and walking there, and returning to an empty house until hungover mum returns.

Yet he hasn't taken the children to live with him

I'm sorry to hear this. How awful that he won't step up for his child. Is your sister open about her issues? Is she trying to access support the quit? Has she asked you to take her son at times? Or does she ignore her failings?

It may be worth speaking to the elder nephew and asking if you can discuss this with him and his school. He is essentially becoming a carer (with the added issues of an alcoholic mother and distant father) and the school should probably know about that.

I’m sorry but if I knew my 10yr old nephew was being neglected and left alone due to his incompetent parent then I’d be taking him to my home and applying through the courts to make it permanent .

there is no way I would chance social services taking him and placing him in the care of a foster parent, my sibling would just have to accept it.

As the mum of a 10 year old boy and an 18 year old, and someone who's 12 year old sister had to move in with her at 18 because our mum was a neglectful alcoholic. My heart breaks for both of them. Have you not confronted your sister? Asked your nephews dad why he isn't removing and safe guarding his son? Do you have parents that are around anymore and able to step in?

Id also be contacting your nephews school, maybe if they know they'd allow him to go to breakfast and after school club on the days this happens when your nephews working so he isn't alone and is fed and safe.

I don't think social services are going to do much about a 10 year old being left safely in the care of another adult and just having to get himself to school. Lots of children do that.

Obviously it's less than ideal parenting but he's not physically at risk of significant harm.

Can you as a family not support your nephew? If he has a loving family around him I don't think you can rely on social services to swoop in and fix things.

Is there plenty of nutritious food the 10 year old can access? Is someone cooking him a hot meal or is he living off cerial?

Have you tried talking to your sister and supporting her to seek help?

You don't have parental rights but he is your nephew and social services will be more than happy that you have stepped in to ensure this boys basic needs are met while they look in to this issue I'm sure.