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Tired and Hurt

6 replies

PodPea1974 · 19/03/2023 01:35

I can't really believe my life has turned out the way it has. Been married to my husband for only a month. Together for over 25 years. I didn't know until I moved in with him 6 years plus years ago that he was a drug addict. There were no signs. I'd been here a year and went upstairs one night and he was sat smoking heroin. I begged and pleaded with him and he eventually quit the drugs 2 years ago. It's a massive thing he's done and he did it by himself with no methadone. But he's turned to drink. When he smoked he was laid back and laughed a lot and was loving. Now he drinks a full case of bear in a couple of hours and is agressive. I'm frightened if him. I've sat him down when he's sober and he says he won't drink like this anymore. But he does. The final straw is last night I was in bed and he was screaming. I went to see what was going on and he was slamming the fridge door. I asked what was going on and he said I make him feel sick and I'm disgusting. He then waved a knife about and bellowed at me telling me it's over, he's sick of me and to get out. He's turned in to a complete monster. He's changed so much. I don't recognise him anymore. He said I talk to and treat him like a dog. He only ever puts the rubbish bag out, washes a few pots occasionally (sink is normally full from him and it's left for me). I work full time, he isn't working, I clean up, do the food shop, cook most days, do washing, ironing and care for the 3 dogs and I'm a full time carer for my very sick parents. I'm tired, of it all. To be very honest I wish I never married him or I mean I wish I never met him. All he's interested in is his drink, the gym and his mates. I don't even come in to the equation. I always told him I wanted a family. He said yes later. Now it's too late. We are in our late 40's. I resent him so much. I supported him with his drug addiction, coming off of it, the mood swings, the shear nastiness of his ways, his anxiety and depression but I can't do it anymore. I'm sick of crying myself to sleep. I'm sick of feeling so low. I'm sick of treading on egg shells. I'm sick of my life. If I didn't have caring responsibilities I'd just end my time. I'm at rock bottom. I have no one or anything to turn to. I have no one to talk to. I have never spoke about this to anyone. I put on a smile and a brave face and no one would be any the wiser. I have no where to go and just don't know what to do. I'm so lost. I'm sorry in advance to all who might read this.

OP posts:
Alex Drake · 19/03/2023 01:57

I'm so very sorry to read what a horrible time you're having. You owe this man NOTHING, pack your bags now and go and stay with your parents while you sort out a single home for you. You are worth so much more than to have an abusive, addicted husband for the rest of your life.

His life sounds horrible, of his own doing. Please don't let him drag you down with him. Leave now.

Alex Drake · 19/03/2023 02:04

Also, just to say that you've posted this in alcohol support so you might not get as many views here as on say Chat. And you really need support right now so I suggest that you might want to ask mumsnet to move your post?

TokyoSushi · 19/03/2023 05:20

You really, really need to leave OP, this is no way to live.

MintJulia · 19/03/2023 06:15

You need to leave OP. Pack your bags and go and stay with a family member.

Call a solicitor on Monday morning, and start divorce proceedings. Report his threats with a knife to the police. You are in danger and you need to do this for you.

I hope you can find the strength xx

Stepuptowardsinfinity · 19/03/2023 06:28

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You need to leave. It might feel like a big step but I promise you will feel such relief when you are out of this situation. Get this moved the Chat and there will be plenty of people on here to offer a hand hold.

Littlewilts · 25/03/2023 10:56

@PodPea1974 How are you doing Pod?

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