I can't really believe my life has turned out the way it has. Been married to my husband for only a month. Together for over 25 years. I didn't know until I moved in with him 6 years plus years ago that he was a drug addict. There were no signs. I'd been here a year and went upstairs one night and he was sat smoking heroin. I begged and pleaded with him and he eventually quit the drugs 2 years ago. It's a massive thing he's done and he did it by himself with no methadone. But he's turned to drink. When he smoked he was laid back and laughed a lot and was loving. Now he drinks a full case of bear in a couple of hours and is agressive. I'm frightened if him. I've sat him down when he's sober and he says he won't drink like this anymore. But he does. The final straw is last night I was in bed and he was screaming. I went to see what was going on and he was slamming the fridge door. I asked what was going on and he said I make him feel sick and I'm disgusting. He then waved a knife about and bellowed at me telling me it's over, he's sick of me and to get out. He's turned in to a complete monster. He's changed so much. I don't recognise him anymore. He said I talk to and treat him like a dog. He only ever puts the rubbish bag out, washes a few pots occasionally (sink is normally full from him and it's left for me). I work full time, he isn't working, I clean up, do the food shop, cook most days, do washing, ironing and care for the 3 dogs and I'm a full time carer for my very sick parents. I'm tired, of it all. To be very honest I wish I never married him or I mean I wish I never met him. All he's interested in is his drink, the gym and his mates. I don't even come in to the equation. I always told him I wanted a family. He said yes later. Now it's too late. We are in our late 40's. I resent him so much. I supported him with his drug addiction, coming off of it, the mood swings, the shear nastiness of his ways, his anxiety and depression but I can't do it anymore. I'm sick of crying myself to sleep. I'm sick of feeling so low. I'm sick of treading on egg shells. I'm sick of my life. If I didn't have caring responsibilities I'd just end my time. I'm at rock bottom. I have no one or anything to turn to. I have no one to talk to. I have never spoke about this to anyone. I put on a smile and a brave face and no one would be any the wiser. I have no where to go and just don't know what to do. I'm so lost. I'm sorry in advance to all who might read this.