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Alcohol support

Struggling to quit and no support

33 replies

MylittleLovebug · 13/03/2023 21:18

So I know I drink to much, I am drinking a bottle and a half of wine a night and I have got to the point where I have had enough but I am struggling to stop. So I spoke with my husband who drinks rarely, yesterday to say I need help to stop, I don't want to drink anymore, I need you to be supportive in me stopping. This is the first time I have ever said this and come to today, and I text him saying work stressful I need a wine. Thinking he would be supportive and he made a joke and when I got home he'd bought me a bottle of wine and me being weak drank it. I am so disappointed in myself and so confused and upset by him buying it. He never buys me wine it feels like it was almost malicious having asked for help in stopping and suddenly he buys it for me. Not sure what I'm looking for but needed to vent.

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Summer2424 · 13/03/2023 22:41

Hi @MylittleLovebug here to support you, pls try an online zoom AA meeting, i think it will really help you x

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Lightsbonaza · 13/03/2023 22:51

Hi OP
I can totally understand your feelings towards your DH. You might need to have another conversation with him it seems. Hopefully it was a strange blip and he will
be more supportive from now on.
there are some very supportive threads here. Maybe someone can point to one where the advice and empathy extends beyond ‘only you can stop’? It really helps having one to check in on regularly i found: the one that helped me with dry Jan and beyond has now gone a bit quiet and I suspect something with more going on would be more helpful

i wish you strength and well done for seeing what needs to be done

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rockingbird · 13/03/2023 22:54

This is a regular thread that's full of people all on their own AF journey and is a full of lovely people all supporting each other.

The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4709778-the-freedom-thread-continued-a-thread-for-people-who-wanting-to-enjoy-an-alcohol-free-life-everyone-welcome

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MylittleLovebug · 14/03/2023 07:04

Thank you will look at the threads mentioned above and look for a zoom meeting.

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Dumpruntime · 14/03/2023 07:11

Congrats on recognising you have a problem. There are plenty of support out there. I would urge you not to make this your husbands fault or responsibility. The responsibility lies with you saying you wanted it and then drinking it.

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BurbageBrook · 14/03/2023 14:30

If you do want to quit cold turkey, Jason Vale's 'Kick the Drink Easily' is fantastic. At a bottle and a half a day, you are an alcoholic and cutting down will never work long term.

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Summer2424 · 14/03/2023 21:45

Hi @MylittleLovebug hope you're ok x

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brightspice · 15/03/2023 14:11

The problem with other people is that they do what they want. Whatever your DH's motivations it was totally up to him to do what he did.

BUT it's totally up to you what you do and what you choose to think about what he does/did.

How does feeling annoyed that he's not supporting you in the way you want helping YOU? Because you are really the only one to think about in this situation. I understand how you would want/expect him to do what you would do in this situation (I'm sure you'd be really supportive), but again we don't control others. And it's really, really liberating when we really just accept that and move on.

So ...

How could it help you most to drop these feelings of annoyance and drop any attachment to what he does and just focus on you.

Because then whatever he does is irrelevant to what you achieve for yourself. How could this feel FREEING?

Then in terms of next steps - and here I'll offer my support to what you want to achieve for yourself - start to notice your drinking in a detailed way. Become very, very aware. So much of our drinking is unconscious habit. Once you start to bring it out into the open (write down things like when you drink, why you drink etc for each situation) then you can start to take solid action to change.

Sorry for long post but really wanted to send you lots of enthusiastic support!!

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