Is your alcoholic DH emotionally immature/nasty?

[HearHoovesThinkUnicorns]

With DH 5 years, have 1 DD together. He works FT shift work. Will often drink the night before a shift and will lounge in bed until its time to get up for work. Yesterday he (surprisingly) got up a few hours before his shift started to spend time with DD.. About an hour later DD falls asleep on the sofa, he decided to gave a snooze too. I tell him not to let her sleep longer than an hour as if she overnaps she will be up until a ridiculous time. I went upstairs to study and after an hour I come back down to wake her. In the process I wake him (20 mins before he was due to leave for work). He was absolutely furious for waking them both. He called me a selfish fucker, told me I was the most selfish person he knew and that 'I've always been this way" and I only do things to suit myself. He reiterated how I was so selfish for waking them both and he really could have done with that extra 20mins. Bear in mind, unless DD napped, he wouldn't have gotten any extra sleep. He then said he was leaving for work early as he 'couldn't bear to look at me'. I felt that he was utterly deranged in his thinking. He will have at least 1-2 drinking sessions a week where he will start drinking around teatime, finish at 4am then lie in bed most of the afternoon. He genuinely cannot see how much I actually do for him. We don't have sex (his choice). When I bring it up how long it's been he will dismiss it or say 'well I can't say I've been keeping track'. He doesn't need to keep track as he's quite happy meeting his own sexual needs and expects me to be content with masturbation too. Due to a variety of reasons I can't leave at the min, however I'm saving as much as possible to leave when DD starts school. But my question is, is it normal for alcoholics to be so emotionally stunted? Can they genuinely not see beyond the end of their own noses?

Hopeful bump!

I grew up surrounded by alcoholics.

What I generally find is that they are either drunk - or sober but nasty because they desparately want a drink but can't have one at that exact time for some reason or another.

I think he'd be like this with or without adding alcohol to the mix

It doesn’t always follow but it isn’t unusual. My experience of alcoholic ex dh is that he probably has an underlying personality disorder that makes him nasty and selfish. Much of it stems from a lack of empathy. Maybe the alcoholism started off as self-medication for the pd, but the two conditions feed into each other and both become worse.
i think it’s important to separate the alcoholism from the behaviour. The reason being, the behaviour will still be there even if he ever gets on top of the drinking.

It is often said that an alcoholic's emotional development is arrested at the age that their drinking tips from social drinking into alcoholic drinking.

Your only focus in this world should be to get your baby out of this environment, whatever it takes. Do not ruin your child's life by raising her with an abusive, alcoholic father.

All Achol does is reveal show true colours of whatever faults someone has ,

If someone tendencies to be Arsehole or Narastistic ect,

Then it will show up with more drama strife /domestic abuse,
Basically it reveal whatever Dysfunctional ways Alchol is being used to prop up/,hide like a facade,
Alchol talk/Ways is like great truth teller,

People make all sorts of bull shit excuses for shitty behaviour , under the guise of Alchol

See it for what it is,
Wise up to this,
Alcoholics know when they mess up or hurt someone,
It does not give them a free pass to be a Arsehole
They need to want to seek good therapy
They need to admit they have a problem 🙄

Unfortunately they quite often need to hit Almost or at Rock bottom,
Before realising they need help interventions

This. And some teenagers are nice and some are horrible. None is emotionally present and adult.

I know you said you can't leave now but you have a child. You don't want this normal for her. Is there a plan?