Not feeling better? Feel cheated!

[Keeptrying2]

Short backstory is that I've always had a fairy bad attitude towards drinking. Did it at lot as a teenager then went to uni and enjoyed the full drinking life style. Met my Dh and we both carried on enjoying that life style until we had kids. Once the Dc came along we obviously stopped going out all the time but it became a habit to drink every night. Not falling over drunk type drinking but easily 3 quarters of a bottle of wine a night for me and he drinks beers.

The last 6 months it started to really worry me that I wasn't going to be healthy and around for my Dc if I carried on. In January I decided to try and quit drinking in the week and just stick to weekends. I became quite poorly (covid) at the same time and it basically led to me stopping altogether and I'm now on day 38 without a drink.

I've seen a few benefits, my skin seems clearer, I've lost a tiny bit of weight (only a couple of pounds!) and my sleep is definitely better. However I don't feel any better in myself, if anything I feel like my anxiety and low mood has got worse. Every thing I've read is people feeling so much better once they stop but I don't feel it!

I would love to be able to still have a drink on an occasion, eg if we get a rare night out or on an odd Saturday night if I fancy it, however at the moment the few nights that I've felt like giving in I've managed to resist and now I'm a bit worried about having a drink incase I give in all together and just go straight back to old habits.

Has anyone got any success stories or just any helpful tips?

Also has anyone stopped drinking and just had constant food cravings?! I can't stop eating crap!!

Is your anxiety worse because you were using it a crutch/coping mechanism? You might need to treat your mental health as a separate thing which needs looking after.

@007DoubleOSeven I think I was definitely using it as a crutch but I actually managed to come off my antidepressants about 6 months ago as I was feeling so much better mentally, now I feel like I'm back at square one since I've stopped drinking

@Keeptrying2 firstly that's two huge steps forward so congratulations :)

It might be that your mental health has just got a bit wobbly after making such another big change, particularly if you leant on alcohol as a help, and that for the time being it needs a bit of extra support and tlc. That doesn't necessarily mean medication again, but I think it's worth having a chat to your gp and/or referring yourself for cbt to help support you and retrain your brain.

You functioned well on anti depressants and alcohol. You continued to function well without the anti depressants but your mental health might need a bit more shoring up to cope without the alcohol crutch too. That's OK- and very doable!

And in addition to the removal of alcohol from your body, you're also dealing with the difference in socialising and any social expectations, as well as the food cravings for sugar etc. That's quite a lot to deal with and the sugar highs won't help your anxiety either.

You've done brilliantly so far, there's no shame in reaching out to your gp for a bit of extra support to help you on this latter stretch.

Essentially, this is where you start adopting new healthier habits to support your wellbeing rather than fall into new cycles.

People who start exercising a lot go through a similar process, they find what they eat, drink and how they sleep has a much bigger effect on them than it did before because they're working more closely with their bodies. It's the point where they often start enlisting help and guidance or making further changes to their lifestyles.

Don't look at it as a problem - this is your body and mind signifying you're ready for the next step.

*fall into old cycles!

@007DoubleOSeven thank you for your kind words and support! I have been thinking about trying to start exercising in the evenings to help me take my mind of the sugar cravings or thinking of alcohol. At the moment I'm finding it difficult to get the energy or motivation but I think it would do me good to try as it could help my mental health as well.
I've got myself a habit tracker which I've been filling in each day and I'm finding that is helping me to keep going as it does give me a bit of motivation. I'm just hoping I start to feel better mentally soon too.

@Keeptrying2 well done for getting this far, that’s a great achievement. I think as your drinking habit was quite long it will simply take more time for your mood to benefit. I normally don’t get on with self help type books but I recommend Lewis David -10 Day Alcohol Detox Plan. it doesn’t matter that you have already gone past this stage it is full of practical non judgy explanation of what you will go through while giving up.

When I gave up (drank lots of wine every night for 12 years) my sleep was worse, I craved sugar (usually I never eat cake/biscuits/chocolate), my mood didn’t improve, I didn’t lose an ounce. Only improvement was my guilt and worry about drinking went. It took 2 months for the sugar cravings to go, I still read my kindle in bed for an hour or more before I can fall asleep. Weight started to come off and mood improved but it wasn’t instant, it took 2 months to get to that stage.

You can also look at other ways go tackle sugar cravings. Iced fizzy water with squeeze of lemon and lime, for example. Fruit. Dark chocolate.

There's a lot of sugar in alcohol, it's a big adjustment for your body to make.

And when you start exercising make sure you fuel your body properly - protein, complex carbs and healthy fats. Lots of water.