Am I an alcoholic? What do I do?

[Lau8877]

Hi,
I drink a bottle of wine every night after work. I work 12 hour shifts and it helps me unwind, alongside watching ridiculous drama series. What do I do? This has gone on since 2019, I'm scared I will have liver problems. I lost my dad during covid to alcoholic liver disease. It was truly awful. Any advice really appreciated x

Im feeling the same. Not quite a bottle but definitely a glass or 3 most nights. I've been out tonight from 4pm after work and feeling the dreaded beer fear. I feel awful and constantly paranoid that I'm actually an alcoholic. Dont even know where to begin hence popping on here tonight

Sorry to be blunt.. but if you think it's too much... which it definitely it.... then cut down. It's really not rocket science!

If you have tried and can't THEN you really do have issues and need to seek professional help eg AA.

No-one can do this for you so you need to be proactive and find other ways of de-stressing

Agreed. I have tried a few times and failed so I suppose that should tell me its an issue...

maybe speak to your GP?

I've wanted to but also not sure how it works. I have 3 children. Would SS be contacted? Would I have to inform my employer? I've worried about it affecting other areas of my life. Also going to the GP would mean admitting it to my husband and that scares me.

AA is anonymous and no one there will report you to SS or anywhere else. Good luck with moving forward OP, you can do it.

It might be best to reduce what you’re drinking initially then stop if you are able to. It’s great you’ve had this realisation. You can contact AA but some people prefer other modes of support. If you have Instagram there is a huge sober community on there I’d suggest you take a look - there are many people out there like you.

Go to the Gp and talk to them. X

Presumably you don’t work a 12 hour shift 7 days a week, so what’s the excuse the other days ? Yes, you are reliant on alcohol so you can either cut down yourself, or get support from AA.

@CarSc23 unless there is any neglect or abuse, there is no reason why ss would be involved. AA wouldn't tell them.

Can you start by cutting back, eg to half a bottle and/or having two or three days a week off entirely?

If it helps, I was drinking most days, about 2/3 of a bottle of wine a day. I stopped on 1 Jan as the anxiety and guilt were overwhelming. I needed a huge reset.

There are quite a few of us on the 1 Day Sober thread in similar situations - recently having decided to stop, whether permanently or just for now. Join us on the thread if you think it would help.

Yes you are an alcoholic. I used to drink the same amount. I’ve found I couldn’t cut back as half a bottle of wine in judgement went out the window. I did just abruptly stop ( I think you are meant to get gp advice on this) as it was either all or nothing. I find the nights boring as anything now and squash just doesn’t do it. However I don’t wake up with regret and I’m saving money….

Il definitely pop on and join that thread. Thank you ❤️

Nobody can definitively label you an alcoholic, and to be honest, would it matter if they did?

The question to ask yourself is - can you stop drinking without help? Have you tried? If you’ve tried and you can’t stop, you have a problem with alcohol.

AA is very good and it means you have a real person to talk to when you’re struggling.

It’s relatively easy to not drink when you’re feeling ok but if you’re having a difficult day, that’s when the desire to drink to change how you’re feeling can overwhelm you. That’s when you really need someone to hold your hand.

A month off altogether then drinking 2 nights a week would be a good start and healthier for your liver.

Don't beat yourself up. It's a highly addictive poison... And you don't have to go to the GP to get access to recovery help... You can usually self refer to your local authority drugs and alcohol service. They were absolutely BRILLIANT when I went. Nearly three years sober now. I promise it's the best gift you can give yourself.

Hi there. Alcoholic is a very dated term and no longer used in the field of addiction. The more helpful term is alcohol use disorder which covers abuse of alcohol and alcohol dependency.

it is unlikely that you are physically dependent on alcohol unless you are having physical symptoms when you stop such as the shakes, profuse sweating, rapid heart rate - to the extent that you need a drink to stop it. “Hangxiety” /the fear/general hangover symptoms are related to stopping drinking after a fairly large intake but are not the same as physical dependency.

I am a binge drinker and once got through forty bottles of vodka in 2 months yet I am not physically addicted. My addiction is emotional/psychological and I am undergoing therapy for the issues that led to my drinking .

AA is great for some but not for others. There are heaps more support /sober groups which can also help. Smart recovery is great and has women only groups (it’s shocking how common it is for men to try to prey on vulnerable women at addiction groups).

my GP was extremely supportive but I know not everyone has a great GP. My advice would be to read some quit lit, seek out an online or face to face sobriety group and focus on what you will be gaining rather than giving up. I’m framing my sobriety as a “year of health” as forever is scary. my friends and family are all brutally aware of my alcohol abuse as they’ve witnessed it, but if you don’t want to share with others, going on a health kick is a good way of deflecting when people question you not drinking.

I’m doing lots of healthy, positive things and so far, it’s really helping my mindset. I’m at the point of losing everything because of my drinking but the drinking didn’t happen overnight- please please do something now and don’t progress to where I am. You can do this. 💐💪❤️

I am a binge drinker and once got through forty bottles of vodka in 2 months yet I am not physically addicted

I'd be amazed if this was true.

Some good tips here! And, you don't have to identify as an alcoholic to stop drinking.

I gave up drinking and didn't involve my GP, though I'm sure GP's can be helpful.

I started off by reading some Quit Lit - The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray were the first two and they really resonated with me.

I joined Club Soda Together Facebook page. Also check out their website, they run some brilliant courses, one of which is free I think.

I went to AA. Ultimately I didn't continue going (covid), but when I did go, people were incredibly helpful and friendly.

Podcasts are great too, there are lots. My favourite is 'Soberful'.

It's also helpful to think of a few things you'd like to do instead of drinking in the evenings. Box sets, drawing, join the gym, volunteer, sleep early, anything! You might not feel like doing much at first but a few weeks in you'll find energy and enthusiasm for some extra activities!

Good luck, you can absolutely stop if you want to, and have a great and happy life without wine.

I'm sorry you're struggling with this, alcohol is highly addictive and so easy to get hold of. Try clear minds hypnotherapy. They do several stop drinking downloads and they are less than half an hour long. There's also a 30 day one. There's often a discount but they're not too pricey

Alcohol misuse is the term I use. I'm heading towards my 5th year of sobriety and I've made peace with it and myself.

I never used AA but I did see an addiction therapist who was an integrative psychologist. I recognise that I am an addict: recreational drug use in the 90s which I was able to stop but substituted with alcohol. After my DCs were born it was too easy to start opening that first bottle of wine whilst cooking dinner. I'd look for excuses to drink: bad day, have a drink; good day, have a drink; someone's coming over, have a drink; is there a 'Y' in the day, have a drink. You get the picture.

My DCs did tell a pastoral assistant at school when I was in the first stages of recovery, who told safeguarding who immediately called SS who called me at work.
The social worker who called me couldn't have been more supportive, she was apologetic that the school hadn't called me first but incredibly compassionate and signposted me to helping organisations specifically for women. It helped that my family and I were not on SS's radar, her words, but should I need them they were there for us.

I was seeing my therapist at this point and uncovering why I was self-medicating, it was a symptom of the way I felt about myself and my life.

If you think you are drinking too much, then listen to that inner voice. You are the best expert of yourself.

Wow, I'm overwhelmed with all of these lovely and insightful responses. Thank you all so much.
I have to admit, I haven't tried to stop. But, maybe that's too harsh on myself, because after my father died I was drinking from 6am in the morning, all day. I never went over 3 bottles of wine and never stepped into drinking spirits. But I did have a wakeup call after my brother had to come over, I was crying and thought I was going to be hospitalised from being sick so much. My body had just had enough. After that episode I knew I'd strayed into a serious drinking problem and vowed drinking before 7pm was a no go. So, I did that. Now I'm cut down, but still dangerous drinking, I know that. My partner isn't particularly supportive. He says it's pathetic, I have no willpower. He's wrong. I managed to get my sh*t together in some respects, finally passed my driving test August just gone and got a new job. But yeah, I'm at the point every morning where I'm thinking you did it again, drank wine, you said you wouldn't. But come evening time I'm straight to the shop for wine. Its a very strange warp to be trapped in, wanting to stop something really badly but still doing the same thing.
Thank you for the reading recommendations, I'll get on amazon and order!
How did those who stopped just, do it? Did you just not buy any? Nothing in the house? I'm worried ill have side effects, seizures or something terrible that the lovely Google has provided for me to ponder.
Thanks again all x

@Lau8877 it sounds like you've already made some great changes, well done. I'm sorry your partner isn't t supportive.

I suppose when I tell my story, it sounds like I just gave up one day and that was it, but it wasn't like that at all. It took some time of regular spells of alcohol free days - 3 days here, 5 days there, sometimes I'd get to a couple of weeks - all whilst doing the reading and the exercise and stuff in the background. Then one day I woke up with terrible terrible anxiety after drinking again and just KNEW I was done.

Just take a day at a time, you don't have to conquer forever today. And it sounds like you should see your GP first, if you think withdrawals are a possibility. I have a friend also who phoned Alcohol Change and they put together a tapering plan for her, so you could try that too.

What do you work as? Are you driving to work.
This is what I would be concerned about.
Losing your job and licence could have significant impact on your life after working so hard to sort it out.
Perhaps try to stay sober on worknights to start with. Try some fancy cordials and mocktails instead.

Yes I drive to work, but there's no alcohol in my system by then surely, my last drink is usually 11.30pm. X