Too much wine

[Mum2boys14]

I have never added a message before but I think I really need some support. I am a mum to 6 year old twins both with additional needs. We had a huge struggle conceiving and ended up doing cycles of IVF followed by their premature births so it has been a lot. I thought I had it all together while on mat leave but now its 5 years later and Im working full time I dont feel like I am coping.

My main issue is that I have always suffered with anxiety but my alcohol intake is too much. I have a bottle of wine 5 out of the 7 days a week. Im 3 stone heavier than I have ever been in my life and so so low. I also take anti depressants which is probably making no difference when drinking.

I think I have bought every quit alcohol book there is but cant every make it more than 3 days.

The answer is stop drinking it will make everything better but why isnt it that easy?
Just looking for a bit of support. Please be kind!!

Have you tried AA?

Go to AA. They can help x

I dont think its for me.. do you think i am that bad?

Give it a go and see. But if you can’t go three days without alcohol then yes I think it’s for you.

If you can do two days, that’s good ! Could you try doing alternate days ?

We all think that when we first go 🤣

go to six meetings - if you don’t hear anything you relate to then no, it’s probably not for you but I think it’s a good place for you to start.

I agree with the pp who suggest AA.
You will get plenty of help and support there from people who have been through the same as you.
‘If you do decide to go, try and look for the similarities rather than the differences.

Should probably just go to AA.

If you can’t stop then yes it’s bad enough to need help and support.

I just want to say that when you stop the drinking everything in life because so much easier to deal with. Please be kind to yourself you have coped with so much and I think using alcohol as a coping strategy is something many of us have done. X

I approached AA about 8 years ago, I called them one night and basically got told I wasn’t a proper alcoholic. It took me until this December to finally admit that I had to take matters into my own hands and actually I can’t trust myself to drink so I need to stop completely.

for me I have stopped keeping alcohol in the house and I do all my shopping online so I can’t just add a bottle of wine to the shop.

I think I am very different to you, I don’t really have the desire to start drinking-I just don’t stop when I do.

I can say I feel much healthier, and whilst I don’t feel “happier” I do feel more in control of my life and situation.

i am struggling with what to do when I go out with friends, I don’t know what to order and feel like it’s obvious that I am not drinking which I don’t want to explain.

one day at a time and they do get easier. You can do this

There is AA, secular AA and also organisations like SMART Recovery. Lots of rhe meetings are online so easy to just try it out.

I stopped on 1 Jan, the final motivation being the awful panic and anxiety i was experiencing. And the guilt. And the general feeling that I was sabotaging myself and letting down my kids. it might not be forever, but I am carrying on with sobriety for now.

It can be done 💐💐

Lots of us in the v early days over on the 1 Day Sober thread if you want to join us.

You want to change and that's where it starts!

I started off drinking half a bottle Friday, Saturday and Sundays, then a night, then up and up until I was drinking a bottle of wine most nights, similar to you.

The anxiety, my physical health, guilt, lack of energy, weight … was overwhelming. I didn’t approach AA; I had long-standing MH issues that no doubt I had drunk to ‘manage’ and of course they made it worse. I had a breakdown and had to go onto antipsychotics. I couldn’t drink on them (I did try!), they just knocked me out.

3 years later, I have recovered from my breakdown and no longer taking antipsychotics, but I have never started drinking again either. I had an occasional glass (once every couple months) of fizz which I don’t really enjoy so I don’t bother anymore.

I’ve gone from a size 18 to 12. I don’t wake up with the crushing dread and anxiety, to say nothing of feeling physically rough. I am exercising. I don’t eat piles of crap in the evenings that I can’t remember eating. I feel immeasurably better. We still have booze in the house, my partner still drinks and it genuinely doesn’t bother me because I can see how much better I feel.

Oh, and I look about 10 years younger now which is another bonus!

Good luck OP, you can do this.

Thank you all so much for your messages xx