Guilt (which I deserve)

[QuertyGirl]

I know I deserve to feel guilty, but how do I function?

I got black out drunk a few days ago, said a load of inappropriate stuff in front of the neighbors (over share basically) and passed out.

The worst part is that my five year old DD witnessed at all (DH looked after her though - he wasn't drunk).

She hasn't mentioned it. Think she just thought I fell asleep.

I can't sleep or think for the shame.

How do I deal with this?

I have a history of self harm and I'm trying to resist that but it might make me feel better.

How do I face the neighbors?

Been there op. I'm sorry you're feeling so shit.

The hangover fear/guilt/shame is absolutely awful when you're in that place.

Remember that it will fade. It always does.

Could you do with a few weeks/months off drinking?

I know when times are hard it's easy to reach for the booze to shut your mind down/escape, but it never seems to help in the long run. I've had many many times where the shame of my drunk/black out behaviour has been excruciating. I'm doing dry January at the moment, possibly extending it monthly depending on how I'm feeling.

A break is definitely a good thing.

Hi OP, I'm sorry you're experiencing such anxiety but the thing is, it's happened and you cannot change it.

If I was you, I would stop drinking because it's just fun when you're in it, not worth what you're going through now.

Buy the neighbours some chocolate, go over and apologise for your behaviour.

Your 5 year old wouldn't have a clue what's happening, so I'd learn from this, move away from any booze and live anxiety free from now on.

I can't face the neighbors- with chocolate or not.

I've been there. Just apologise. Write them a note at first if you can't face them but I promise it will be easier if you get it over and done with. As for your five year old she won't know. I've been sick from being drunk in front of my then 7 year old and didn't drink for a while after that. I don't really drink now either because she doesn't like it. She is 9 now.

@gemloving is right

What on Earth do I say?

Sorry for telling you all of innermost secrets when I barely know you? (just moved)

DD doesn't have a clue, thank Christ. I don't want her to ever see me that way again.

I feel like I deserve to punished for this, somehow.

Just say gosh I'm sorry about the other day. I have not drunk for ages and I forgot I was in painkillers/ antibiotics. Never drinking wine again lol. Just keep it bright and breezy. Do not allude to what you said. Pretend you don't remember

I feel like I deserve to punished for this, somehow

This is a common thing with anxiety and drinking. Hence why I don't anymore.

You do not need to be punished, so please stop that thought. If you cannot face the neighbours don't. But be your very best, don't let it happen again. Try to cut back or stop drinking. If in the future your neighbours mention it, say your sorry, it's not like you and unsure why you got so drunk so quick.