Stopping...

[ERN79]

Hi.
How did you stop drinking?

I'm a typical binge drinker. I can go weeks not drinking but then have a night out & that's it. I don't know when to say 'no thanks'.

My social life does mainly revolve around alcohol.
I drank Saturday night & can't remember getting home. I spent yesterday highly anxious & still feel the same today.
I can't keep going in this cycle.
I'm worried about saying to people that I'm not drinking & feel like mentally I can't deal with the inevitable questions.

Would love to hear your advice. Thank you.

I’m the same - I have no self control around alcohol. i have never fathomed how people make one glass of wine last all night, or stop after a couple of halves?

I gradually came to the conclusion that the buzz I get from alcohol is not worth it when the costs are making a fool of myself, having a rubbish night’s sleep and feeling slightly hungover and crap all the next day which stops me doing other things I enjoy.

I think you have to be really, really convinced in your own mind that you want to give up before you make the actual break, and I think that being sure in your own mind makes it easier to say ‘no thanks, I’m off the booze at the moment’ when you’re out. If you don’t make a big deal of it or try to justify your decision other than saying ‘I just don’t fancy it tonight’ then other people tend to forget about it.

I do drink occasionally, and can’t say I am never going to drink again, but it’s not a compulsion like it was. Don’t get me wrong, I often crave a drink after a tough day, but the feeling passes, or I will have a 0% beer which satisfies the ritual of having a drink.

@MagpiePi I just can't keep going like this.
I feel so anxious. Terrified to face people. Ashamed.
I'm meant to see the same people on Thursday but at the moment I just can't face it. 😔
I want to just curl up & hibernate. But I've 2 kids so that's not an option.
The power of the mind eh. 🤦‍♀️

Yep, the guilt hangover can be worse than the physical one!

You CAN deal with this. The first step is to recognise you want to change, but don’t necessarily expect it to happen overnight. It’s a habit and habits can be hard to break.
I’m very much a believer in a one day at a time mantra, so I always think I can have a drink tomorrow.
Could you try one night on soft drinks using the excuse of antibiotics, or dodgy guts or something?

Absolutely, the physical is fine!
It's the mental anxiety.
I enjoy a drink, but I can't moderate. I do find recently that even if I don't drink loads I still get the memory loss & anxiety.
I'm meant to see the people from Saturday on Thursday & currently I don't want to go. 🤦‍♀️ Trying to not think about it at the moment, but at the moment I can't face them.

I feel like I finally got over the urge when I realized it wasn’t all about me and started behaving accordingly. The things I did to change my life in sobriety were, I started thinking of what I could do to meet the needs of others, be rigorously honest, become humble to the best of my ability, work on my faults, and make apologies where necessary. Then I had to do my best to help others and bring others back. Also not running from fears as much as I could

Hi @ERN79 I’m in the exact same position - made the decision to give up (again) and hope I can stick to it. I’m worried I’ve done permanent damage and/or will relapse so have asked for referral to an alcohol support service.

I hope you have managed to enjoy Christmas and have a plan for a way forward.

PS. Sorry to hijack - I will start my own thread once I pluck up courage.