Been with DP for 5 years. Have one DD. Dp clearly a functioning alcoholic, will drink anything between 2-3L of vodka a week despite holding down a full time job. When we first met he was such a lovely man. It was only after DD was born (I moved in then) that I realised how problematic his drinking was. Lately he's becoming increasingly nasty. For instance last week we were getting DD ready for nursery. He was constantly making jibes ie) DD was having a tantrum and I was struggling to get her shoes on. Dp said "don't worry DD, mummy will get then on EVENTUALLY". We were taking her out to the car and I couldn't get one of the back doors open as it was semi frozen shut. I explained this to DP and he opened it easy(ish) and then 'joked' quite nastily "you can't even open a door". To put into context I'm 5ft and 7.5 stone. DP is 6ft 2 and nearly 20stone. Whilst him and DD were off to nursery I started tidying. He came back and nitpicked because I had left the microwave door open and again because I put medicine syringes in the dishwasher. I was getting tired of his behaviour so went upstairs to read. My grandmother recently passed away and it was her birthday so I was feeling a bit emotional. At 1245 he starts drinking (despite complaining of a cold and had been taking lemsip etc for this). A few hours later he suggests we wrap presents. He was drunk. I thought this was an effort to jolly me so went downstairs and we were wrapping. All fine. He asked me to fetch him the hoover so I went to get it but before I stood up he started chatting about something. Then he said " are you going to get the hoover? You know the one I asked you to get 2 minutes ago?!" I explained I was going to get it he didn't need to be so snippy and that I'd enough of his attitude all day. He explodes and said he was fed up of me. He stated he was always having to ask me to do the same thing again and again and was sick of it. He tried putting the wrapping paper away in a cupboard but it wouldn't fit so he begins to throw it around the room. I got the blame as the cupboard was full of "my crap". It wasn't, it was full of items we all use.
I went upstairs and had a little cry. His response "you can hardly be upset, just man up". Later when he calmed down I tried speaking to him about his behaviour. He refused to back down saying I was lazy and he did EVERYTHING around the house. I said 'no you do a lot but you certainly don't do everything'. He got crosser and maintained it was everything and I done nothing. I told him he really needed to work on his temper. He said if I didn't make him cross he wouldn't lose it. He said "it's my house and I'll speak however I like to anyone under this roof." Conversation continued in this style until I left the room. We had another row today as he decided to do an overtime nightshift tomorrow night despite me being up at 0600 on Thursday for a 14 hour shift. I explained I can't sleep properly before a shift if I'm watching DD (whose currently sleep regressing and up several times during the night). I'm terrified of going into work exhausted and making a serious error. His response "well you better get used to it as I'll not be giving up any overtime shifts just in case you might get woken up."
I know the advice will undoubtedly be to LTB but it's simply not feasible at this moment. Feeling so deflated. I've been starting to doubt myself thinking maybe I am lazy etc. Is anyone else's partner like this with the constant criticism, nastiness etc?