I'm worried about my mums drinking.

[christmasmeltdown]

Myself and my 2 kids moved in with my parents in January. I always knew mum liked a glass of wine as much as the next person but I'm worried it's getting out of hand.
Around 5pm she will be fine, then between 6-7pm she starts to slur, can't string a sentence together, sometimes can't even stand straight, occasionally can get nasty and then passes out in bed. She denies she's had a drink and tried to say it's tablets but then I find bottles of brandy/wine/you name it hidden. She told me she wouldn't care if I stopped her seeing my 1 year old when she was drunk.
I know she had a difficult childhood, she makes me feel like she's turning to drink because of my situation. I'm worried in the short term she's going to ruin Christmas Day, and in the long term her health.
What can I do?

I'm sorry to hear this, it's very difficult . If it helps I very much doubt you are your situation are in any way driving her drinking, in al-anon (the organisation that supports families, friends and carers of people with a problem with alcohol) they talk about remembering the 'three Cs' - you didn't Cause this, you don't Control it, you can't Cure/Change it . It's surprisingly hard (and sad!) to get your head around as we all tend to assume 'if only' we did this or that differently or our own situations changed we could fix things but really the agency is all with the person with the problem and the solution lies with them too. They have to see that there's a problem and be motivated to make changes - no amount of diplomatic nudging or bargaining or outright begging and pleading from anyone else, even a loved one will work, sadly, I've been there and got the T-shirt. Try and not take it personally is all I can say, her drinking or not is not a measure of her love for you and the kids, if love and being loved was all it took to stop drinking there'd be very few alcoholics in the world. IME most people with drinking problems have people that cared about them very much and tried to help them at least at some point in their journey, some manage to turn things around and some sadly don't but it's not the case that it was the ones whose families loved and supported them the most that had the good outcomes and vice versa, so please don't take that responsibility on yourself.

Have you tried talking to your mum about it in a calm -sober! - moment? Not in an accusatory way or with threats but from a place of concern about her health and the impact on her as well as you - can you encourage her to seek some help, maybe from her GP or a help group or even online? Separately, I think you need to consider your own boundaries and what is and isn't safe and healthy for you and particularly your kids to be around, not in an ultimatum way 'if you don't stop drinking I'll take the kids away' (see above, threats rarely work) but from a point of view of protecting them. Luckily your 1 year old is probably too young to understand but do you have an older child? They take in more than you think especially if there's heightened emotions and shouting - do you have a plan to get your own place? Does their grandma ever look after them alone?

Christmas day isn't that important in the scheme of things so if she passes out early so be it, I'd leave her to it but if there's likely to be nastiness or aggression is that something you want your kids around any day of the year - have you got alternatives or can you at least get them out of the house for a bit?