Gaslighting?

[MamaDuckling]

Is this gaslighting? Is it in anyway acceptable?

I’ve been under loads of work and domestic stress the last few months. Approaching burnout etc. back on anti depressants. DH aware, supportive.

We hosted some drinks after a meal out two weeks ago for my side of the family. To be clear this was at our arrangement, and in part for our son’s birthday (he’s 9 but didn’t want a big party with friends, just family over).

DH drinks far too much, far too often. Has form for bad behaviour on it etc. After I had left them all to it and gone to bed, it transpires that he basically got stroppy, told my family he’d had enough of them, chucked them out and basically told them he’d had enough of hosting them and was up to his eyeballs with it. Don’t come back in a hurry etc.

This came out yesterday when 76yo DF gingerly asked if he was still invited for Xmas.

I called DH out on it. He claims to remember none of it. Then he stropped off to bed because he said that no one would understand him anyway, and if he did do this it was to protect me because I had been stressed out about hosting a family gathering that evening.

Basically pinning his behaviour on my stress?

He needs to apologise to them, right? I don’t even know anymore.

[Nichebitch]

Not acceptable at all, that’s crossing a line and would be no come back for me.
if he doesn’t remember, the only acceptable option is he never drinks to that point around people again. The fact that he justifies it says it all.

[MamaDuckling]

I thought so too. He is pinning it on everything except the drink…

He has apologised to my dad but no one else. I’ve told him today he looks awful and needs to detox/take a look at himself. Urgh.

[PritiPatelsMaker]

Forgetting is very convenient. No adult should be drinking to the point of memory loss and abusive behaviour.