Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Alcohol support

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Alcoholic? Alcohol dependent? Habit? Worried about parent

3 replies

Northerngirl1909 · 05/12/2022 09:37

Both my parent drank while I was growing up (not excessively, just at parties or events etc)

My mum woild have a glass of wine in the evenings and at the weekend my dad would have a drink or 2. This was was always normal to me and I didn't think nothing of it

Over the last few years I noticed my mother's drinking had become more frequent and she would be drinking more each night (I think this started during lock down) I mentioned it to her once, and she admitted she was drinking too much and she cut down. She would have 1 or 2 drinks and be able to not need anymore.

It then starred to increase again slowly. I know she is able to go days and days without having one, but if she did have 1, it would always lead to more.

We had a family event where she has way to much and fell over. I went absolutely crazy at her as I was completely fed up and embarrassed by it. She was mortified by it and completely stopped drinking for ages. She's been out a few times with drinks etc, and had a couple (I ask my dad when he's out with her, as we talk about this a lot and he's been keeping and eye)

I noticed there was a bottle of wine in the rack last week, and I questioned my dad about it, he didn't think she'd been drinking and said it had been there a whole (from when they had frindms over) she was out at the weekemd and had a few drinks. She tends to stick to vodka when she's out now.

Sometimes when I speak to her I get paranoid that I drink she's drink. When she's drinking wine I can 100% tell because she slurs her world, and I can't say I've noticed her doing tjsr, but I feel like she can have possibly had a few drinks

She doesn't hide the fact that she has a drink when out etc, but my mims goes into overdrive.

Is this an alcoholic? Or alcohol dependent? I'm really struggling to deal with this as her nothing was a big alcoholic, and this caused s major family issues. My mum knows how I feel about this situation, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Northerngirl1909 · 05/12/2022 09:40

Would like to also add, I've asked my dad a number of times if she's been 'sensible' and he said she has. I do believe him as he was becoming very fed up of the whole situation as well, and he has told her a number of times of it gets out of hand, he will inform me as she knows I will confront her

OP posts:
AFitOfTheVapours · 05/12/2022 15:01

I don’t think anyone can answer this for you OP. However, I would say trust your gut instincts always. It could be (only could) that you and your dad being on her case has driven things underground. It is really common for alcoholics to have public drinking and secret drinking. That is all part of the delusion of denial.

Of course, it could also be that she is telling the truth, although for what it’s worth what you have said sets my alcohol radar off too.

IF she has fallen into addiction, there is genuinely nothing you can do to put things right, unless she really wants to, no matter how much you try or how much you want to make it ok. It’s really important that you can support her without getting sucked into all the crazy-making chaos that goes along with the problem. If that’s the case, please try Alanon or similar which helps families learn how to deal.

good luck

Andante57 · 06/12/2022 17:30

Op, I am sorry to hear this and I understand your concern. However, as AFitofthevapours has said, unfortunately no one can stop someone from drinking.
You didn’t cause it
You can’t cure it
You can’t control it.

I also suggest you go to Al Anon as you will find help and support there from people who have experienced/are experiencing the same thing.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page