Works Christmas do, sober

[ScubaTuba]

I haven’t had a drink for over three years and I have no inclination to start again, so that’s all good.
When I was drinking I would generally get through obligatory social occasions by drinking far too much. My social life has now changed / reduced so I’m rarely involved in social occasions which revolve around drinking, but I’m still expected to attend the work Christmas do. It wouldn’t really be acceptable to not attend, as it is unfortunately seen as part of the job. I realise now that I’m definitely an introvert, and I’m comfortable with that, but I find the Christmas do excruciating. It’s not a massive piss-up by any means, although everyone is at least a little drunk by the end. I just find the social interaction so hard. I always sleep badly afterwards, with my mind racing, and in the morning I feel so mentally shitty that it’s a bit like a hangover used to be.
How do sober people cope? Will it ever get better? Or is this just a small annual price to pay for my health and well-being, and I need to suck it up?
Thanks.

I think it’s probably the latter….I am not a massive social butterfly although I do enjoy an occasional night out and love a party as much now as I did when I drank….more probably because I know I won’t act like an arse and feel shit the next day!

The way I see it is I see these people all the time sober so it's just chatting to them in a different environment. I have done sober work dos before even in my drinking days so I'm not concerned about it this year. Plus when everyone starts getting tipsy and embarrassing themselves I can eb thankful it's not me.

Can't you go to show your face, chat to people you like to chat to, smile warmly at everyone to play your part, and then slope off early.

Without being rude, I doubt anyone would notice, everyone is too self absorbed at these events.

Treat it like a work meeting: turn up, put on game face, play the part, exit.

You can be tucked up in bed by 10.30. Maybe allow for some wind down time, read a book, listen to calming music on the way home. This might improve your sleep.

I think sloping off early might be the best approach. It’s probably best for everyone else too - nobody wants a stone-cold sober person around at a Christmas piss-up.

Drink sugary drinks and you will get a sugar high that's how I got through it although I only stayed a few hours and there was a meal.

It's a weird perspective as you can see who is drunk and who isn't i.e. who can handle their drink. I would be one of those who couldn't!

I’ve done many a work event without drinking because of living further away than most so driving. I used to approach it as work rather than pleasure and made a point of looking out for new or shy members of staff and introducing them to people and making sure that they were not left sitting on the end of the table being ignored.

I always used to do the working out who owed what and collecting the money at the end of the meal as well.

Then I’d slope off as soon as seemed reasonable and look forward to hearing all the gossip the next morning.

Even before going AF I have done work dos sober for years after one too many embarrassing occasions and being riddled with anxiety for days

Like pp I approach as work but also remember that I speak to them all sober day in day out - so just revert to the ‘work’ personality :)

I am a massive fan of sloping off early… as soon as slurring words and repetitive stories start I’m off ! And no one notices any way

I prefer to be sober at work dos. I grew up in the countryside so have always been sober at many social events so don't find it particularly hard. Last one I was at there was one person in our team embarassingly drunk quite early on, most other people were absolutely fine during the meal. Those that wanted to get pissed did it later. But you can disappear after a meal quite respectably and the next day you feel so much better.

If it was me I would tell everyone how much I am looking forward to going and then come down with a contagious bug on the day which means I can't go. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I find the work Christmas party excruciating and vowed I would never go to another one again.

I well remember the days of the Christmas do. As a manager I was expected to attend no excuses, those were the days! They were excruciating, as they are for anyone who is shy/introverted/the only sober one etc.

Anyway I would steel myself, and get through the meal. Chat to the person either side of me at the table. As soon as dinner was over and the bar beckoned, I would have one (non alcoholic) drink, float around with a nod and smile to anyone in my vicinity.

The trick I had (in places where there was no cloakroom or coat stand, company was cheap lol) was to leave my coat at the cash desk/reception, or somewhere unobtrusive and not visible to the party gang. Then after that only drink and mingle I'd just say I'm going to the loo and get my coat and go. No one ever said they noticed me leaving early, they don't care but they know you were there just the same! Home for 9.30/10 and into the PJs. Bliss.

The worst thing you can do is to SAY you are leaving and then it turns into a bit of a drama. So don't, just slip away....