Well don’t for recognising you have a problem.

I recommend as a first stop you listen to Recovery Elevator podcasts.
I hope you heal soon x

It's such a positive sign that you've acknowledged you have a problem with alcohol.

How do feel about just not buying any more alcohol? To not have any alcohol in your home?

Your health and sobriety is the utmost of importance. You can't allow your partner's drinking to bring you down.

be aware that the problem you are experiencing is VERY common .

Regards podcasts , I only got into them recently.

I download one on to my phone and listen on headphones when I am out walking the dog , or just while doing housework. Or while sitting knitting 😬

it seems you have caught the problem early which is a positive thing too.

I wish you all the best x

I'm in the same boat my friend

Ime alcohol feeds anxiety. But unfortunately because it is addictive people live with the anxiety so they can get the kick from alcohol.
Finding something to do which requires a sober brain helps me. Reading, jigsaw, knitting.
It's getting past the 'first drink' time of day which is the hardest imv. Can you put on your coat and go out and walk for half an hour. Just to break the routine.

Can you try delaying your first drink until later and later in the day? Or would you just end up staying up later to finish the same amount of drinks?
Or possibly try getting out of the house in the evening-eg go to the houses of non drinkers/those you wouldn’t want to see you drinking so much? Apologies for the amateur advice!

OP, the first thing to start with is to see it as totally possible that you can do this for yourself. Commit to backing yourself and treating yourself with compassion. Really that's so important. Calling yourself names, hating your lack of control or anything else doesn't help. Here's why:

We do everything because of how we feel - because of how we want to feel or to get rid of how we're currently feeling. Alcohol is a short-cut way to get rid of feelings we don't want. We know the effect is only temporary, but when we feel the emotional pain or even just the emotional discomfort our brains want us to get rid of that feeling as quickly as possible. Enter stage right alcohol.

So the first thing to do is to get super aware of your drinking and WHY you're doing it. I mean get really curious. Pay attention to how you're feeling/what you're doing etc when you have your first drink, when you have your second drink, etc. Changing how we drink is an inside job - it's something we do for ourselves - so getting really well-aquainted with how we're feeling is very, very important.

One of the first thing I have my clients do is write out all their thoughts about alcohol - all of it - stuff like 'I like the taste', one is never enough, I like the buzz... then to write a second list of all the things you WANT to think about alcohol - things like I'll never wake up with a hangover, I'll never embarrass myself by overdrinking ... that sort of thing. Then compare the lists. The second one needs to be much more compelling than the first for any change to be sustainable.

In my experience using willpower isn't a long-term strategy that offers a good outcome because there's only so much willpower to go around. For permanent change start with why you drink and tackle your desire for it. Because once you stop desiring something it's easy to stop.

I am happy to answer questions.

I'll also offer I have a podcast called '90 Days Later' where I talk about how to stop overdrinking, covering topics I discuss in my coaching work and which helped me.)