help?

[XenoBitch]

Well, this is bad enough to admit to this online. No one knows. No friends or family. It is my dirty secret.
My secret is I drink about 70-80 units each week.
I told my mental health team.. they didn't say anything!
I told my GP.. they didn't say anything either.
Am I paranoid or do they all wish me dead? I don't know.
I do know it is bad to suddenly stop, but I have managed to do that. Not touched a drop since last weekend.
I want to keep going.. but I need help and tips.

No one wants you dead.

But as to keep going, think of the money you have already saved as a motivation. Think how good it will be to answer "I have had no units for the past month" next medical appointment.

Think if all the things you will remember now, film plots, books, evenings out and in. All the time you gain from not recovering from a hangover. How healthy your liver will start being.

The paranoid thoughts will go or become unimportant.

That’s great you’ve stopped, op. If you find it difficult or impossible you will find help and support at AA.

Well done on making the decision to stop. I've seen you about on MN and I count you as one of the rational voices, so you clearly have insight. You should not try to do this alone, especially if you are also dealing with MH issues as well. Services for substance misuse are almost non-existent, as you know from experience, but there is help out there. AA works for people, but if you are looking for a secular alternative there's SMART recovery - it's CBT based and you can start with online meetings. I wish you all the very best.

Good for you, so much courage to say this. Find help though, keep banging those doors. My friend recently passed away from liver damage, I had no idea she drank that much. I have no idea why her GP, her counsellor, her own husband never helped her, never told her to stop. I'm so angry at them all, shame on them. She even went to A+E a month ago, they did nothing, 3 weeks later she was gone. Never listen to the people that don't care, you will have people that do, please, please tell them. Tell them twice, tell them how much and how often. It's so hard but harder when it's too late. Your addiction will speak to you loud and clear, find someone you can speak to who helps you hear better things. Good luck

Well done on admitting the problem, and on managing that initial stopping.

I'd recommend reading things... Things that explain how alcohol impacts your brain. And things written by people who have been where you are.

I stopped drinking at the end of August and feel like I have managed a mind shift this time... I've done dry January and dry pregnancies but always felt I was missing out. This time I'm enthused by not drinking.

Alcohol Explained by William Porter really helped. So did Clare Pooley's Sobermummy blog. So did Jason Vale's Kick the drink. Reading is also a good distraction at times when you might have been drinking.

You can do this

You should join AA. It really changes lives for the better and you won’t have to recover alone

Even though they didn’t say anything, I am saying something: sobriety is better than drinking. I’ve found peace and happiness in sobriety and I don’t suffer very much anymore and I get to feel useful to others and my motivations and thoughts changed and became more pure and loving. I had to focus on doing the next right thing in sobriety, though

You are doing great, it sounds like you have had a lightbulb moment. You will feel better without that excess of booze.