Right, I really want to do this now...who's with me?

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

I cut right down on my drinking...had 3 glasses of wine last night and woke up feeling like shit this morning. My head hurts, I feel sick and I feel tearful and...just rubbish.

I don't want to do this to myself any more. It's just not worth it.

I've Dry Januaried in the past and compiled a list of reasons not to drink:

1. Physical health - undeniable
2. Mental health - again undeniable
3. Money - not only is alcohol expensive but drunk me likes to shop for things sober me knows I can't afford
4. Weight loss - drunk me loves snacking
5. Sex - my husband and I only can’t begin to count the number of times one of us has fallen asleep/passed out due to alcohol and missed the opportunity to have sex. We’re still in the honeymoon phase & want to have sex a lot. Sorry to lower the tone but it's a fact.
6. No more beer fear - we've all been there
7. No more hangovers - they get worse as I get older
8. No more risk of driving over the limit - either the next day or whenever
9. No more worrying about getting home from a night out

10. Setting a good example to my children

I'm sure there are more

Feel free to add others and join me on this journey...one day at a time.

What do you actually want to do? You’ve not specified it in your post.

Sorry, I thought it was obvious. I want to stop drinking.

Hi OP. Do you want Stop completely and never have another drink ever or just cut down?

I think I need to stop completely. I can either have my mental health or I can continue to drink. I don't think I can do both.

I can try to help you with this. I lost my sibling to alcoholism a year ago and it was absolutely brutal

I've stopped drinking. Now 2 months in. I didn't drink a lot, but I did feel pressured to drink when out with friends. ( just at pub nights, not massively boozy affairs!)
The next day I would feel anxious, worried I'd overshared, felt horrible and dehydrated even though I'd only had 2/3 wines. It just doesn't suit me anymore. I just stopped, but have tried to find non alcoholic drinks or mocktails so that drinks are a bit more interesting than always having a coke zero!

I'm so sorry @Nowayoutofthismess that must have been so tough. Thank you for your offer of help...it can't be an easy thing to talk about.

OP they are all excellent reasons to stop. I stopped nearly years ago and don’t regret it for a second. You will hear this advice a lot but it works - I read and listened to every form of quit-lit I could get my hands on. There will be a handful that really resonate with your life and reasons for giving up, and they are very inspirational. My personal favourite was Claire Pooley’s book. There were others I can’t recall at the moment but once you buy one on Amazon you’ll get all the recommendations from the algorithm. Going to bed with one of these books and a cup of tea, playing the tape forward (waking up fresh and calm without alcohol or sick and anxious with it) are helpful in the first few months. Good luck. It’s life changing in the best way.

*Nearly 4 years ago, that is

It's weird because at the beginning of this year I managed 100 days and it was only as I approached the end that I missed it.

Well doing okay so far but then I don't usually drink during the week. Friday will be hard but I have to remind myself of the last 2 occasions I've had a drink and it's knocked me off kilter for about 3 days...it's just not worth it. I'm trying to diet so this will also spur me on. I'm 18 months shy of 50 and I want to...just once...be fit and healthy

hi @MyGhastIsFlabbered I had my last drink on 29 September so I think that's 6 weeks tomorrow (!) Like you, I've had periods where I've stopped for several months but something has always pulled me back and I've regretted restarting later. I'm hoping this time will be different!

OP, when you got to nearly 100 days, what happened? Do you recall what prompted you to drink?

My guess is that you were willpowering your way through then 100 days, resisting the temptation. That approach can work for months at a time but is ultimately not sustainable because we are just squishing our desire for the relief down further and further until it just erupts.

But if you can pinpoint what happened before you can make the change.

We drink because we're feeling a feeling we don't want to feel (and yes this happens even for people who have lovely lives and are confused about why they drink), but getting to the root of this will enable you to have a clean and permanent break from the booze if that's what you want. (This is exactly what I did and today it's sooooo easy to not even think about a glass of white wine which used to be my daily treat.)

Happy to answer questions

I gave up at the end of August. I am aware it is early days but I really don't have any desire to drink now, despite having drunk a bit too much for years and definitely too much in the first part of this year.
Like a previous poster I recommend quit lit. I found Alcohol Explained the best book, and Claire Pooley's Sobermummy blog. Jason Vale's book also helped, though it is long winded and I didn't agree with him on everything

I'm another one who managed 100 days from January 1st. I can pin point exactly what caused me to fall... a Spanish holiday where all the food is better with a jug of sangria!

@brightspice it was weird for most of the 100 days I was quite happy and could foresee a teetotal future...then when I got to 80 days I just got, for want of a better word, bored of sobriety and could hardly wait to get to 100 days so I could drink. I don't even know why.

I know why I drink...I have very complex MH problems and both my parents had/have problems with alcohol. But at the moment I'm ok. I keep reminding myself how shit I felt on Sunday and Monday because of the drink. Im just taking it one day at a time.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered 👏one day at a time

I'm considering Dry January again.