I think I'm dependent on drink , I can't stop

[Anonymousgirlxoxox]

I'm 23 . I have two young children . I have been drinking regularly for almost 3 years , but in the past two years or so , it's been every single day . 1 bottle of wine a night .... i drink to release stress , I'm depressed and have anxiety and I thinking I've been using drink to cope .

It's definitely effecting my health and mental health . My partner calls me a acholic but in a jokey way but he's definitely not joking . Anyway , I find my self thinking about drink through the day , always say to myself nope I'm not drinking tonight but I always do when kids are in bed sleeping . Like today I don't want to drink but I probably will. I can go two days max without drink then I start again . I'm fed up , I've put on weight , I feel horrible and I generally can not be bothered with anything.

Any advice to help me stop ? I'm scared it's going to continue , I don't want to do it anymore

@Anonymousgirlxoxox I'm sorry you are feeling this way but please don't think you are alone. Recognising you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol is the first step forward.

Where to start...

Well, if you have time with two small children (and I realise you might not) listen to some podcasts and read as much quit lit as you can. (Headphones during nap time or whilst walking with the pushchair or whilst making dinner if your partner has them?)

Perhaps more importantly, do you have a trusted friend or relative in RL you can share your concerns with? My sense is you are overwhelmed and exhausted and alcohol is a switch off button? Finding alterative support and self-care is going to be really important. Talk to your GP too if you feel brave enough - there might be some local support services that would be invaluable to you.

The day one support thread has ideas, resources and other like minded 'stoppers' who will offer advice and encouragement. But actually the first step is to put down the glass.. get through one night, one hour or one minute at a time.. find distractions, make a cup of tea or pour a soft drink. Ask your partner for support and encouragement. Your mindset is really important - you have to decide that absolutely you want to alter your drinking patterns and your thoughts are just thoughts, you don't have to give in to them.

I hope this helps a bit and I'm sure lots of others will be along to add their perspectives! x

Does your partner drink too? If he joins you then he needs to stop also and support you.

1 bottle of wine a night is a lot. And if you are both drinking then neither of you would be in a fit state if anyone needed help ie get to hospital.

You really should get proper help as this is a horrible slope to go down on your own.

I don’t think this is something you can do on your own. Even if you stop drinking for a couple of days the chances are you will be drinking again as soon as you feel anxious , you will need outside support to succeed. I think you need to speak to your doctor (I know, easier said than done) or a health visitor or practice nurse if that would be easier and ask them to refer you on. Most local authorities/ health trusts are aware of issues about drinking and will have pathways available. Good luck, it is the best thing you can do for your own physical and mental health and for the wellbeing of your children.

@minmooch my partner doesn't drink no

@Stircrazyschoolmum @viques thank you all for you replies, I think I'll take one step at a time and try keep motivated , find something else to distract myself . I am due to be working nights soon so that will definitely help me . If self help doesn't work I will be going To the gp , as I'm young and can't. See myself doing this for years and years ! X

Talk to your doctor and think about contacting Alcoholics Anonymous. You can speak to someone on the phone first and there is no pressure to go back or to speak at the meeting if you don’t want to. It helped a family member to stay sober many years ago now and they haven’t looked back. It might also help you to go and just listen and see if anything resonates with you. Good luck

As 667 says, do try AA. If you go to a meeting it is recommended that you listen to the similarities rather than the differences.

As alcoholics we typically find it difficult to stop even when we want to. Try a meeting, they really work. There are online ones at online AA intergroup if you can’t go in person. You can quit! I believe in you!

Hi @Anonymousgirlxoxox
I could have written your post word for word. I tried to PM you but it wouldn’t let me. Please feel free to PM me

Hi op, firstly you just took a huge step forward by recognizing and acknowledging you have a problem so well done its not easy, I have a family member who is an alcoholic and I have seen just how much of a negative impact it has had on their life, what helped my relative get off it was finding other things to fill the void, take up a hobby etc, having a no alcohol in the house rule, avoid triggers, also the Allen carr easy way to control alcohol book is fab (don't be fooled by the title) it's a very insightful read and he has helped lots of people change their mindset and get off alcohol. Just take it one day at a time op you have already taken the first step, you can do this. ❤️

I agree with what everyone else has said - seek help. If you find AA isn't for you, you may find that SmartRecovery is better - it is completely secular and uses CBT based techniques to work through the reasons why you are drinking and help you find better ways of coping with life's stressors.

Would recommend reading The Naked Mind it makes sense.

Try reading Annie Grace - this naked mind. Or alcohol explained, really opened my eyes. I was like you - it’s horrible, makes you feel like a failure, your young still, don’t waste any more time, you won’t regret leaving it behind. Good luck.xx

Please try and have at least two days a week dry to protect your liver 🙏🙏