Day one today

[inthemornin]

I'm thirty and have had a problematic relationship with alcohol since my teen years. However, it has badly progressed since then. I did a 6 month sober stint and then went back to drinking (no idea why) but with rules. I managed to stick to these rules for almost 3 years, ie no drinking when my daughter is in the house, no drinking alone, no drinking two nights in a row.

These rules I followed but within the last few months I am breaking all but the first one. I am in the middle of a masters course at the moment and I really need to have my head screwed on. I drank last night and I have a presentation tomorrow, I am sat here an anxious mess just fed up of feeling like this.

I've read all the sober books in the world so I know what to do. I am utterly determined to do this. I can't go through another day like this. I am usually a confident, productive person, when hungover I just become this anxious, unclean shell of a person who lays around all day reevaluating my entire life. It sucks all the happiness from me and makes me feel really hopeless.

So today is my DAY ONE, I haven't felt this determined in a while! Anyone with me?

I'm joining you. I can't drink less than a bottle of wine at a time and I end up making a fool of myself texting and whatsapping. Yet another day hungover and mortified. I've had sober phases in my past and I'm always happier without alcohol in my life, so why do I go back to it?

Brilliant and welcome! I know, I don't understand it either. I feel so happy and content when I don't drink yet I make the conscious decision to start again. It really is a bastard and a confusing one at that.

I read the Jason Vale book 'kick the drink easily' and it worked so well for me , I didn't feel like I was giving anything up. But 6 months later on Christmas Day I had 'just one' and managed it. But then it crept back and back and here I am drinking until I blackout regularly. I have to stop. I'm going to get more quit lit to help me.

I’ll join too if that’s ok

Hello everyone - happy Monday!

I stopped drinking on 30 September after a rather eventful night out and have had a chequered relationship with alcohol my whole life. @inthemornin your story resonates with me - I did the same - had a decent stint off booze and then slipped back into old habits. I'm now mid-forties and trying once again after god only knows how many day 1's in the last decade. My point is, if you can crack it at thirty you are in a really good place and you will look back and thank yourself!! You are right - its a bastard and its a progressive bastard - plus all those rules are exhausting and make us feel crappy when we break them.

Best of luck with the presentation today - I bet you'll smash it!

@snozzbergerthe Jason Vale book is brilliant isn't it?
I really must re-read it!

I am going to join the library ( I'm making a list of things to do instead of spending my evenings on the wine) and get a few quit lit books, I feel like re-reading the Jason vale one might not work as he says something like, if you drink again after reading this it won't work! Which has put me off to be honest. But I have been reading through the other threads on here and they are fantastically motivating. I am only day 2 but at the moment feeling hopeful and excited for the future. I want to get back into exercise, I used to run and it was my 'thing'. When I did 6 months sober I was running half marathons and I felt bloody awesome! I'm not sure I'll get back to that but being able to run 3 times a week will be my goal. I've never been part of a running club but as I'm getting older (45) I feel more of a pull to be part of a social thing like that and again it will give me something to do in the evenings .

Hi everyone,

Sorry have been so busy yesterday and today just had a chance to look. Day three for me. I feel like I've not had time to think about it yet. The challenge will be next weekend when my daughter goes to her dads.

How is everyone doing?

Of course it is

Day 3 for me too and feeling positive. I have been immersing myself in sober podcasts, and I've joined a running group! something I've wanted to do for a while , first session will be next week and I'm really excited

I am with you. Day 1 today for me. Its good to see there's other people out there thinking and doing the same old routine as me.

How's everyone going? I've had several day 1"s in the past but I'm determined not to ever go back. I've been immersing myself in podcasts and literature and I think that's what will make the difference this time. I need a daily reminder why I don't want to drink.

Morning everyone! @snozzberger I think you are right, a daily plan, especially in the beginning can be really helpful. So what’s your plan for tonight/the weekend? Do you have social events to navigate (which can be tricky!)

@inthemornin sounds like you need a plan too for when your daughter is away, is it fair to say you see this as downtime and alcohol perhaps kicks in as a reward/relaxant?

Its 4 weeks since my last drink and it’s been easier than I thought. Im not taking it by the day as such but know that once sober October is over I will need another goal/excuse. Im quite lucky that family/friends/partner don’t try and nudge me into ‘just having one’ as I’d find that very hard.

@Stircrazyschoolmum tonight the usual kids activities I have to run around to, then the weekend I've planned nice things for us to do (park run, Halloween party to go to). I'll be driving to the party so no temptation. But at the moment I am not tempted to drink at all. I know for me when I feel like this it's almost easy in the early days, it's when I get complacent after a few months I start to romanticise drinking and my triggers are peoples innocuous comments like for example, in running club yesterday someone said (while attempting a balancing exercise) " oh it's like I've been on the Prosecco, would be more fun after a few glasses!" And something inside me thinks "see, they can do it, they can have a glass or two of Prosecco and it's fun" but I need to keep reminding me that for me it isn't one or two glasses , I would have the whole bottle and open the second, black out and wake up feeling like crap with hideous anxiety.

@snozzberger the fact you have that insight about yourself and can play it forward means you’ve almost cracked it (I speak from experience of multiple day ones so I hope that doesn’t sound patronising!)

Two things which are complete alcohol no gos for me are driving and exercise so I like your plan! Ironically, until I discovered Zumba/dance fit type classes dancing was something I really missed as I only ever did it blotto.

The complacency / romanticism is a bastard, I know I’m going to have to be really vigilant around Christmas but right now I’m trying not to get ahead of myself and also trying not to get frustrated that I’ve not morphed into this radiant svelte new me with dewy 20 year old skin and boundless energy just because I’ve stopped drinking for 4 weeks!

@Stircrazyschoolmum ha that made me laugh , I am also scrutinising myself in the mirror wondering when I'm going to see the dramatic changes and i'm only day 5! I did have an amazing sleep last night though, a full 8 hours without waking once which is unheard of for me. It sounds like we have similar triggers and similar tools for not picking up that glass. Well done for such a good stretch so far, long may it continue 💪

The very best of look to you