DP was working last night. Finished at 6am, stayed up until 830am drinking. Came to bed and he started making plans for something he wanted to do to the house on Friday. I explained quite reasonably why said plans weren't a good idea. He got very snappy and growled "well it's happening, get used to it". I asked why he was being so rude, and he replied "because you're so annoying". I became upset and told him he was being unpleasant and that it wasn't necessary. I said that he wouldn't speak to anyone at work like that and it's always me that gets the nastiness from him despite me doing so much for him. He exploded and started shouting about how I do very little for him except the occasional back scratch. I told him this was rubbish and listed all the things I do (eg the housework, the majority of the childcare, mental load and basically allowing him to stay up 2/3 nights drinking every week then lazing in bed the next day).
I asked him what more exactly he wanted me to do. He didn't reply. I asked him " do you really think I do nothing?" He then screamed at me to fuck off and to get the fuck out of the room. He messages a minute later to apologise for swearing but I "really need to stop pushing him". I normally never retaliate when he's rude and admittedly my timing was shit after he had finished a night shift but I was so sick of always taking his nastiness. I then sat downstairs and began to doubt myself thinking "do I do enough". He works FT and I dropped my hours to PT after DD arrived. We're both shift workers As aforementioned, I do most of the housework but he'll often criticise it. He will also do housework but mostly only when he's staying up to drink or he'll do housework in the morning in order to justify drinking later. Despite working FT he will drink anything between 2-3litres of vodka a week. After much ruminating if I do enough for him, me being the pathetic little woman I am, I go to the shops and get him a pile of his favourite snacks and a small bottle of vodka as a peace offering. I know how disgusting and desperate this sounds but I've really started to doubt myself. I know I shouldn't enable his drinking but he would be even worse to be around if I didn't. I know thecadvice will be to LTB and that will have to happen at some point, but for various reasons it's not feasible at the min. I suppose I'm looking for solidarity and similar tales as opposed to advice for now.