Full of self-loathing and regret

[justwanttorelax]

After a Friday evening of binge drinking I am full of self-loathing and regret.
I managed a year without drinking then had an event planned and decided to start again, and now I feel as if I'm back to square one and finding it really difficult to stop.
How can this be so hard to do after having a whole year AF?!
I remember how great I felt not drinking but just really finding it difficult to say that's it no more drink.
Posting here thinking it may help me see it written and then tell myself to just sort it out!

That's amazing you did a year AF that's a huge achievement in itself. Maybe just take this as a blip or a learning curve. You know how it makes you feel afterwards. Easier said than done. I only stopped last week, very early days for me but I just keep playing it forward in my head. It's tough as I was a regular drinker for years. It's definitely not easy but if you've done it once you can do it again. Also, please be kind to yourself, your not an awful person!

Don't beat yourself up about it, you were awesome to do a whole year. If you've done it once you can do it again. Just put this one night behind you. Good luck.

You can't change what has happened. Do you think you want to quit forever? Think about how you felt sober compared to now. You did so well to be af for a year, you have the tools to stop. It's up to you. No point beating yourself up. I am 7 months sober and have decided I am never drinking again, your post reminds me why I quit. That self loathing and anxiety.

Thank you so much for your replies, sat here crying reading them, I can definitely do this again I'm sure of it.
I will put this one bad night behind me.
I agree I'm actually not an awful person.
The self loathing and anxiety is created by one thing and one thing only, alcohol, so it's a no brainer really.
Onwards and upwards and thanks again for your support, amazing how a few kind words can make such a difference to someone

In recovery I started to like myself and feel useful!

There's a massive industry out there trying its darndest to get people to drink the drug and you are a hero for resisting them for a whole year. You've proved your strength and good sense to yourself and should be feeling really good about that. Be proud!

Christmas is a horrible time for alcohol. I'm sorry it got to you this once and sincerely hope you don't get into it again, because it's so destructive. Take the feelings that you're currently going through as a reminder to self how nasty it can be if you underestimate the bloody stuff!

Hope you've got some solid plans and/or determination to get through Christmas as a happy and sober time. All the very best to you x

Yeah totally this. So many threads about self loathing on the morning after the night before. You’re experiencing a common side effect of a nasty toxic drug that’s pushed onto society. The fuckers. I’m alcohol free and if you’re anything like me it’s all or nothing. So no ‘just the ones’. You did it for a year. You can do it again. Fuck the fuckers doing this to you so they can buy their big houses and yachts and send their kids to private school! In the mean time, this feeling will pass as your body build its dopamine supply back up. Look at it as biological rather than psychological x