First alcohol free holiday

[milkysmum]

Just posting for a hand hold really. Arrived abroad on Monday night. I am away with my two children age 14 and 10. I quit drinking in January after becoming over reliant. i wouldn't say i was physically dependant but when i did drink i was a mess, experienced black outs and just really needed to take a long hard look at my relationship with alcohol.
Before coming away i had thought it would be nice to have a couple whilst away, maybe a cocktail or a glass of wine with dinner- i'd be on holiday after all, and surly i am ready to drink in moderation now?
We are self catering, we walked down to the main strip last night for a meal. i went to the bar and just decided against it as i panicked. what if i got hammered and there is just me and the kids here? ( i take a medication that doesn't mix well with alcohol either so i can have quite extreme reactions at times and and am more prone to black outs than most i think ).
so i walked back to the table with a lemon fanta like the kids but i just felt a bit sad. How do i get through this holiday? Will a cocktail at night be ok? or a disaster? nobody back home thinks i'm an alcoholic, nobody understands why i have quit. They just think i shouldn't drink so much in the week maybe and am generally a bit of a light weight due to the medication i take.
If anyone can share their fist dry holiday experiences that would be really great. Thank you.

I'm actually coaching one of my clients on this at this very moment as she's away on holiday. You sound scared and a bit resentful of the idea of a dry holiday, which I totally get. That was me. But let me offer this: you can have an AMAZING time on holiday without drinking a drop. In fact you can have a BETTER holiday than when you're drinking. What's your reaction to these statements? How could they be true for you?

Here's another question for you: does alcohol make a holiday a holiday? If so, why?

Think of your amazing mornings. Up and fresh. You'll never forgive yourself for making your kids have a hard time for the sake of a cocktail

Thank you both for your comments. i know you are right. i certainly haven't missed the hangovers that's for sure. It just still seems so odd to call myself a non drinker. People think it's strange don't they, when you say you don't drink.

I say I'm doing 100 day challenge or whatever. Sounds casual. If you want a cocktail when you get home then go for it but honestly don't do anything with medication and your kids in a foreign country. Can you monopolise the mornings for a bit of 'you time' to have a special time of the day to look forward to?

@milkysmum Yes, people do think it's strange if you say you're a non-drinker. I think it's weird how alcohol is so normalised that we're so expected to be able to 'handle' it and there's something WRONG with us if we choose not to. Imagine doing this with something like heroin. Imagine if you said you didn't want to take heroin. Imagine if your friends said "go on, have a bit of heroin" or if heroin were served as default at weddings and you'd be the odd one out if you DIDN'T take it. Imagine you saying to a colleague that you don't want any more heroin tonight but they then bring you some "for the road". We'd all think that strange but it's exactly what happens with alcohol!! (PS: People do get bored of asking why you're not drinking, though it can take a while. I find it peculiar that total strangers feel it's 100% acceptable to quiz me on my drinking habits when they learn I prefer to drink minted water to wine!)

All going well so far. When we've been out for a meal i've had a non alcoholic lager ( i enjoy these at home sometimes).
It's absolutely boiling hot where we are so not having a hangover to battle through during the day is actually amazing.

You can do it!! I just had my first ‘sober’ holiday and felt the same, I couldn’t imagine not having a cocktail and beer in the sun but I had loads of nice mocktails instead and the feeling each morning of waking up without a hangover, without a fuzzy head, without a dry mouth was brilliant, let alone without having blacked out. It’s not worth the risk when it’s just you and the kids. Stick with it, you will feel so proud of yourself afterwards xx

Stick with it OP! I remember my first AF holiday and it is weird as we’re so socialised to drink on holiday. It’s not worth it. Think of the lovely fresh mornings and how good you’ll feel AF. A gift to yourself and your kids. ❤️

In terms of other people just tell them you’re having a break from alcohol. You don’t need to say anything else. I was pleasantly surprised how supportive people were.

Good luck and well done!

There are lots of nice mocktails.
Pina colada works well without alcohol.

Well done, OP.

As for what to say to people, I just laugh and say I lost my license to drink. When in fact, like you, I'd realised that I'd developed an unhealthy relationship on alcohol.

I’ve not long had my first AF holiday, and it was great. Not abroad - self catering in the U.K. to be fair. I’m almost a year sober.

you never regret not drinking. Remember why you stopped.

if you haven’t got it or read it, or even if you have - read again - alcohol explained 2. There’s a good bit in there about holidays.

I’ve booked a cruise for next year and I’m so glad I’ll be free of alcohol, already I’m noticing all the FB posts, is the drinks package worth it, how much booze can I take onto the ship, etc. People in thrall to their drug of choice. What’s enviable about that?

Keep at it!! A dry holiday is worth it. I'm on holiday and I did cave and buy a drink - and honestly, it's sat in the fridge because I don't like the taste in the heat now it seems. Bank balance also improves - it's nice to have a meal minus the £20 on wine! No hangover has also meant I actually have the energy and good temper to get involved in activities with the kids ☺️

I’m almost 2 years sober, and I found the idea of dry holidays really hard at first - especially when the hotel leaves a nice bottle of champagne on ice as a welcome in the room, which has happened a couple of times.

The reality of an AF holiday is actually amazing though. There’s no downside. Fresh as a daisy in the mornings, none of those horrible daytime drinking fuzzy headaches that can happen after a boozy lunch in the sun, more available calories for ice-cream, and there just seems to be more hours in the day to do stuff that isn’t sleeping off a hangover. I found I look better in the photos, too.

No downside.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. I really have appreciated it and found it helpful. It's definitely true about having more energy to get involved with activities with the kids too.