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Alcohol support

Alcoholic mum *TW* threats of suicide

1 reply

lilypad99 · 28/07/2022 18:25

Hi everyone
I really need some help/advice please. I just want to mention that there are references to suicide in the post in case this could be triggering for anyone.
My mum has suffered with severe depression for many years but over the past few months has become worse and also started drinking excessively (about 4 bottles of wine a day). Doesn't work or leave the house other than to get more wine.
This week she has been saying she just wants to die, doesn't want to live anymore because she hates her life and doesn't see the point. I took her to the GP who referred us to A&E due to her mental health (she was uncontrollable and threatening to kill herself). I was really hoping they would section her but nothing happened other than them giving us helpline numbers Envy I have booked her an appointment with the alcohol helpline but it isn't even until next week as they said that's the earliest they had.
I really think she is beyond this- she needs real intervention for both metal health and drinking but they just didn't offer any alternative. Even my mum said to the mental health nurse that she does not feel comfortable going home as she doesn't know what she will do but still nothing other than a helpline number was offered.
I am at a loss of what to do, she came home and straight away began drinking to the point of throwing up.
She does want help and recognises she has a huge problem that needs dealing with but she can't do this alone and I don't know how to help. I can't confiscate all alcohol as the hospital said she absolutely cannot stop drinking abruptly as it's dangerous. I have tried measuring it out for her but she just sneaks more.
Please help, does anyone have experience with anything similar or can give me any advice on what I could do that could possibly help, I'm really at a loss now

OP posts:
DeedIDo · 29/07/2022 09:32

Unfortunately, although it is a natural human reaction to want to help, there is very little you can do while your DM is an adult who is deemed to have capacity.

The mantra is:

You did not cause this
You cannot control this and
You cannot cure this.

Your DM will need to ask for help herself and commit to stopping drinking and unless or until she does that, you will just wear yourself out worrying about her.

Al Anon may be able to help you come to terms with the very difficult situation you find yourself in. Also there is a support thread here for those affected by someone else's drinking.

You may also find that MH services will not touch her while she is drinking because it is so difficult to tell whether the behaviour is just as a result of the drinking or whether there is in fact an underlying mental health issue.

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