Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Alcohol support

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Bottle of wine a night

35 replies

KangarooKenny · 02/07/2022 07:39

My DH drinks a bottle of wine every night.
Very, very occasionally he will have another glass out of another bottle, or he will have a can of gin and tonic on a hot night in the summer.
He has been drinking like this for 20/30 years. When could you expect to see a physical consequence for it ?
He goes to the gym, his cholesterol is fine. I just don’t get how he is so well considering what he drinks.

OP posts:
Ohthatsexciting · 02/07/2022 07:41

Whilst not an inevitability- I wouldn’t be surprised that as he heads in to mid forties this begins to catch up.

but the reality is that even though no dramatic implications to date - you can be sure he hasn’t been the best and healthiest he could have been had he not been drinking so excessively for 3 decades

Ohthatsexciting · 02/07/2022 07:41

What on earth is his mental health like?

because no one in a good frame of mind drinks like this

Original poster
KangarooKenny · 02/07/2022 07:43

He is 60 now. He’s been drinking all his adult life, but the bottle of wine ever night has been going on for 20/30 years.
He just keeps saying that he’s healthy, and his cholesterol shows he is.

OP posts:
Original poster
KangarooKenny · 02/07/2022 07:44

Ohthatsexciting · 02/07/2022 07:41

What on earth is his mental health like?

because no one in a good frame of mind drinks like this

He’s on antidepressants, he says lots of people enjoy a bottle of wine a night.

OP posts:
Ohthatsexciting · 02/07/2022 07:44

KangarooKenny · 02/07/2022 07:43

He is 60 now. He’s been drinking all his adult life, but the bottle of wine ever night has been going on for 20/30 years.
He just keeps saying that he’s healthy, and his cholesterol shows he is.

Work?
Mental health?
marriage?
happiness

it’s not about about the physical implications

Ohthatsexciting · 02/07/2022 07:46

You won’t change him op
not after this amount of time

Westfacing · 02/07/2022 07:48

I nursed on a Hepatobiliary unit for a short time so not an expert but do remember quite a number of patients who were heavy 'social' drinkers who said they were never drunk, never off work, never ill, etc but then all of a sudden they had irreversible liver disease. The liver is very accommodating but seems to reach a tipping point. I speak as someone who can easily polish off a bottle of wine a day, but no longer do so.

He needs to be careful.

Original poster
KangarooKenny · 02/07/2022 07:49

Retired early due to MH.
Marriage is in tatters, we just live together.
I don’t wish ill health on him at all, but if he got something as a consequence of his drinking I think he’d see the problem. He gave up for 12 months or so when his MH was bad.

OP posts:
Titsflyingsouth · 02/07/2022 07:52

he says lots of people enjoy a bottle of wine a night.

No they don't. This is what heavy drinkers say to try and justify their actions. But this volume of alcohol is damaging.

A bottle of wine contains 10 units of alcohol. So a bottle to himself, every night, is 70 units a week. The recommended weekly limit by the NHS is 14 units....

He might have low cholesterol. He might be physically fit at the moment, but sooner or later his liver is going to start struggling.

Westfacing · 02/07/2022 07:53

You don't need to have mental health problems to drink a bottle of wine a day - many people have a couple of glasses at lunch then a couple with dinner, that's easily a bottle.

Original poster
KangarooKenny · 02/07/2022 07:56

Westfacing · 02/07/2022 07:53

You don't need to have mental health problems to drink a bottle of wine a day - many people have a couple of glasses at lunch then a couple with dinner, that's easily a bottle.

I never said you did. But drinking that many units, and taking AD’s isn’t good.

OP posts:
MintJulia · 02/07/2022 08:07

Cholesterol level isn't the only measure of health. His arteries may not be clogged but I bet his liver is hardened after drinking 60-70 units a week for decades.

You won't change him now, the only thing that might get through to him is a serious health scare like a case of hepatitis and having his gp explain in very blunt terms.

SaintHelena · 02/07/2022 08:47

Cancer - much higher risk if you drink - get a full blood test , liver test etc perhaps privately - if it flags up something he is more likely to change.

Original poster
KangarooKenny · 02/07/2022 08:49

SaintHelena · 02/07/2022 08:47

Cancer - much higher risk if you drink - get a full blood test , liver test etc perhaps privately - if it flags up something he is more likely to change.

He wouldn’t. He hasn’t even done the age 60 poo test he was sent through the post.

OP posts:
Ohthatsexciting · 02/07/2022 08:49

Westfacing · 02/07/2022 07:53

You don't need to have mental health problems to drink a bottle of wine a day - many people have a couple of glasses at lunch then a couple with dinner, that's easily a bottle.

Every day?
For three decades?

ClaudineClare · 02/07/2022 14:21

You need to think about what you want OP, you won't change him now. He will only change if he decides he wants to tackle his drinking. Most people don't drink a bottle of wine a day.

LovinglifeAF · 03/07/2022 12:43

His liver will probably be affected somehow, cholesterol isn’t the be all and end all.

pointythings · 03/07/2022 16:28

The human liver is a wonderful thing - it carries on and on and on, showing no sydmptoms and nothing on tests.

Until the day that it doesn't, and then it fully craps out on you and it's too late.

Drinking like that will also be reducing/negating the effectiveness of his antidepressants.

But you can't change him, only he can. It's up to you to decide how you want to live the rest of your life - like this, with him, or by yourself, in freedom. My alcohol addicted husband died 12 days before the nisi was pronounced. I'm single now and loving it.

Palmtreechacha · 03/07/2022 16:32

He might be fine now but the liver is a funny organ. It can regenerate really well but also you get very little warning when it’s in trouble. I worked on a detox ward and we had patients whose liver tests were fine, only to fail a month or two later. The liver copes well, until it doesn’t and sometimes it can deteriorate scarily fast. He also shouldn’t be drinking that much on anti depressants - it’s pointless. The wine will just cancel out the seratonin effects of the ADs

Palmtreechacha · 03/07/2022 16:33

pointythings · 03/07/2022 16:28

The human liver is a wonderful thing - it carries on and on and on, showing no sydmptoms and nothing on tests.

Until the day that it doesn't, and then it fully craps out on you and it's too late.

Drinking like that will also be reducing/negating the effectiveness of his antidepressants.

But you can't change him, only he can. It's up to you to decide how you want to live the rest of your life - like this, with him, or by yourself, in freedom. My alcohol addicted husband died 12 days before the nisi was pronounced. I'm single now and loving it.

That’s so weird- I posted almost the exact same thing and I didn’t even read your post!

Fancydancer1934 · 03/07/2022 16:35

Ohthatsexciting · 02/07/2022 07:41

What on earth is his mental health like?

because no one in a good frame of mind drinks like this

Oh look at you Sigmund Freud

Spidey66 · 03/07/2022 16:37

Alcohol is a depressant. So the anti depressants will have no effect at all. It's a bit like going to the GP for a chest infection, requesting antibiotics but continuing to smoke 40 fags a day.

Jacopo · 03/07/2022 16:41

Fancydancer1934 · 03/07/2022 16:35

Oh look at you Sigmund Freud

Show quote history

What a truly idiotic response, Fancydancer.

Fancydancer1934 · 03/07/2022 21:46

Jacopo · 03/07/2022 16:41

What a truly idiotic response, Fancydancer.

Show quote history

That's the beauty of free speech 😉

Ohthatsexciting · 04/07/2022 06:16

Or a bottle of wine down and very sensitive about someone saying that 30 years of drinking a bottle of wine almost certainly indicates poor mental health (and indeed the op has confirmed as such!)