I've finally left him. How do.i stay strong and not go back ?

[oldsoulrebel]

I know that I need to leave him to it now . His pattern is that once this bender is over he will be full of remorse and promises. This last time he was 3 months sober , and now he's not again, and is lying about it which is the worst part for me. We don't live together and I have blocked him on everything today ,but my pattern is that I usually unblock him at some point , pathetically hoping this time he will have come to his senses. I'm devastated but I know I need to keep strong . How ? I have so many things I want to say to him , it all falls on deaf ears . It's easier at the moment , he's drunk and I'm angry. But in a few days time he will be sorry , sober and I will miss him .I know what I need to do but it's so bloody hard .

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RENAME his contacts as the DRUNK Barstool.
Please your not living together, go out and meet people, find a hobby, do anything you can that changes your life, so there is no room for him,

Thanks for the reply . Honestly I know I can do all those things long term , it's just the keeping away in the shorter term which is hard. He pulls at my heart strings , says everything I want to hear and like a fool I believe him. I've only had him blocked a few hours and already I feel myself weakening . I have plenty of friends and family.for support but still I miss him. I'm a mess . I never used to be so weak

From someone that stayed with him for 10years and finally broke free. Do not do it. How do you want to look back on your life? You could be 10, 20, 30 years down the line. You have a chance to be happy without him. Yet with him no chance to be happy. Don't do it to yourself. Give yourself a chance at happiness

Make a list of all the reasons why you left. And put it on your fridge, back door, phone, bathroom mirror. And keep repeating them.

He'll be contrite, begging and make you feel sorry for him. Until his next bender when all your hate will come flooding back. Save yourself the agony of the never ending circle. You deserve better.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciatethe replies. I know all this deep down , but need to keep hearing it. A list is a good idea

I'm not normally one for meanings in songs etc
But I once sign posted someone in your position op
To listen to Placebo a song called Bosco on you tube
Find the mtv live version on YouTube it
It's done from the drinkers point of view

Powerful . Thank you

I pathetically hoped mine would grow up and come to his senses too but now we're divorcing
Even now part of me wonders if there was anymore I could have done and should I have given him another chance
Even after a million previous chances
I know he's still drinking