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Alcohol support
TW: death
LuckyCat4 · 24/06/2022 13:36
Hi
I've posted under a few names over the years. I'm very happily sober and have been for over 18 months. Genuinely don't miss it and love being clear headed and present for my kids
BUT
Their dad very recently lost his battle with alcohol at the ridiculously young age of 44. I'm trying to support my children whilst also grieving myself for what could have been a very different life if he'd only been able to beat it (I don't mean our relationship, that was never going to work as we genuinely didn't make each other happy, but our coparenting could have been so much better than it was).
There's part of me that would love to have a few drinks and switch off for a bit, but I absolutely won't because I realised when I went AF, that alcohol doesn't actually do what I think it does and I've felt so much less anxious since I stopped. I won't risk my sobriety but the fact the thought is there at all is a shame.
I suppose I also wanted to say that my ex went through a very painful, very isolated and bleak death. All from drinking. I don't want anyone else to face the same. And I also don't want anyone's children to have to lose a parent this way. If you are struggling with your drinking, please ask for help. Don't let the semantics around whether you consider yourself an alcoholic or not stop you asking for support. If you are questioning your relationship with drink at all, the chances are you don't have a healthy one. Not preaching and not judging, it was by luck that I didn't end up physically addicted to drink like my ex did, nothing more to it than that.
foreverinmyheart · 24/06/2022 23:05
I'm so sorry to hear of this 
so sad also congrats on being AF for so long. That is something to be really proud of x
PiggyPokkyFool · 24/06/2022 23:10
Well done on staying strong and my condolences for the lost of your children's father - a tragedy and far too young and far too painful a death too
Ionianprincess · 24/06/2022 23:11
44 - that is no age, sending you lots of love and strength
Dollgiraffe · 24/06/2022 23:23
My condolences- I’m sorry for what you are going through.
Im 14 years and the thought of a drink pops up every now and again, and I really can’t predict it. I have very vivid dreams of being drunk too, complete with feelings of regret and shame. I don’t think the feeling will ever go, but I do know I don’t have another sobriety in me and I’d lose everything. And nothing ever got better when I drank. I did 3 years at first and then went back for another go- it was much worse, you always pick up where you left off. I completely get the wanting to switch off bit- but I have to say on all my years of drinking it never worked.
thank you for sharing, because it’s reading such stories which remind me it’s a fucking serious illness and to not get complacent.
big hugs, you sound like a great person xx
LovinglifeAF · 25/06/2022 14:09
Oh that’s tragic x
I’m over 10 months sober now and one of the big motivators was the thought of what it’d do to my kids and family if I got worse and took seriously ill/died x
spinachmonster · 25/06/2022 14:22
I'm so sorry for your loss.
It's brilliant that you have made that decision because you know it doesn't actually help. Such a huge thing to realise.
Are there things that do make you feel good that you could focus on and build in to your days instead? Bonus of that is that it might make you feel a bit better AND you won't have the guilt.
Nat6999 · 25/06/2022 14:45
I lost my dp to alcoholism age 34, I caned the drink for 2 years after he died but then stopped as I'm a single parent & I couldn't put ds through the same thing. I'm 4.5 years clean now.
longtompot · 21/08/2022 16:10
I've just lost my cousin to it this morning. They'd been in hospital several times over the years with health issues due to alcohol abuse, but this time their body was just to frail to fight anymore. They were only 52, 2 years older than me, and although hadn't been in touch much over recent years, we were close growing up and we were always happy to see each other when we did.
I don't know why I am posting, it's just surreal right now. RIP Cousin💐
AlbinoAxolotl · 22/08/2022 07:46
Sending you and your children love and hugs at this awful time, so glad you know that drinking won’t help- stay strong xxx
brightspice · 22/08/2022 08:21
So sorry for your loss. But I echo your message of encouraging people to get support if they need help. We spend WAY too much time as a society labelling people as either 'alcoholics' or 'normal drinkers' and judging anyone who asks for help. The more we can talk about this openly and freely and without judgement, the better.
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