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Where will my motivation come from?

2 replies

Fuwari · 18/06/2022 21:55

i think I am a functioning alcoholic. I only drink in the evenings, no one knows or would guess. I hold down a professional career. I never miss any obligations nor do i engage in any risky behaviour. But I drink 1-2 bottles of wine per evening. And it’s only that because I go to bed at 9 to avoid drinking more, otherwise I would be hitting 2-3 bottles easily.

I know that it is probably doing me damage but I can find no reason to quit. I have no partner or close family/friends etc, my work isn’t suffering. My pattern is I wake up in the morning and think “I need to cut down on drinking” by 5pm I think “sod it” I don’t really have much reason to keep living so who cares? I am already on 2 lots of anti depressants, which have taken away any imminent suicidal thoughts. But long term I struggle to care what I am doing to myself. I suppose part of me cares or I wouldn’t be thinking in the mornings that I want to cut down. But by the evening it all flies out the window.

So often on here I’ve seen `”this naked mind” recommended. I read it and it made me feel worse! That woman had a loving partner, an abundance of friends, an interesting career. She had every reason to quit drinking, I have none of these things. So where do I find my “reason”. I don’t know how to begin without one.

OP posts:
youshouldhaveknow · 18/06/2022 23:54

Op I could have written your post word for word. I was a home secret drinker. Every evening I would drink 2 bottles of wine. I'd wake in the morning full of guilt and fear swearing off it, but every evening after work I would be back in the off licence again.
I tried everything you could think of to stop but I was completely powerless to alcohol. Eventually I went to an addiction counsellor and from there I joined AA.
I'm over 10 years sober today and my life has completely changed. I've made life long true friends in AA and I can now manage my life and my emotions.
I wish you well

Motherofcatsanddog · 19/06/2022 09:55

Your motivation is you. It sounds like you're unhappy with what you are doing. Think about all the good things that will come from cutting down/stopping. Better health. More money. Good sleep. Clear skin. Less anxiety.

I completely understand though as I have a very similar mindset and drinking pattern to you. I keep trying to give up and hope that one day it will take. But in the meantime I will celebrate success where possible, like my three sober days this week. Hoping to make today the fourth!

Be kind to yourself. You don't need a partner or close friends and family to want to do something good for your wellbeing. All the best to you.

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