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Stopped overnight after I lost my dog. Why?

3 replies

foreverhereinmyheart · 05/06/2022 21:11

Last week my dearest little dog, only 11 months old, was hit by a car. I was completely devastated. He was my everything and helped me through a really bad time. I really loved the little fella. I have been struggling with an addiction for the past two years, drinking everyday. I had got to the point where I was drinking at least a bottle of wine a night and a couple of drinks of spirits. I was struggling to quit. I was starting to get scared I couldn't. I felt my health getting worse and I put on weight. I felt depressed and awful. Stopped caring about anything.

The night he died. I had a beer. Following this, I developed hyper smell and could smell alcohol on me and my partner despite neither of us having much. I felt completely repulsed and disgusted by it.

Ever since that night, I have not had a drop. And I haven't wanted to. I did dry January this year as an attempt and this was extremely difficult. Then fell completely off the wagon...

It is now day 7. I am shocked by this reaction. Relieved and happy about it too. I really had been spiralling.

Has anyone ever heard of this or experienced this bodily and psychological reaction to grief? Currently I feel like I may never drink again. I don't know. I'm just doing it one day at a time..!

Can't believe it.

OP posts:
bluejelly · 05/06/2022 21:15

So sorry for your loss Flowers

But maybe it also gave you a jolt in the right direction. Drinking a bottle of wine + spirits a night is incredibly bad for you and you were basically an alcoholic. So really well done for stopping!

TopSecret99 · 05/06/2022 21:17

I'm so so sorry about your poor baby. I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm sure you gave him the best 11 months so try and take some comfort in that xx

foreverhereinmyheart · 05/06/2022 21:25

Thank you for your messages and kind words. It was a hard thing to come to terms with realising how bad it had got and felt even more scary that I was starting to feel I couldn't stop. No-one in real life knew.

I miss him so much. It's so sad. I think I have felt like he was so important to me that by him passing I should honour him by not drinking any more. But the bodily reaction was something I was not in control of where I became repulsed. I've never heard of this before? I wonder if anyone else has experienced something similar.

OP posts:
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