Elderly parent drinking themselves to death

[TheDepthsOfDespair]

Hiya,

NC for this.

DF is 75 and has been a functioning alcoholic for years and years. A few years ago he got in such a state that he was hospitalised for a week for a managed detox and suspected Korsakoff’s syndrome, he was sober for about a year but then gradually declined.

he spends all day alone drinking. He doesn’t eat. He can barely stand or walk. He’s been wetting himself. He’s not taking his various medications. He passes out and has all sorts of falls and injuries. This week he was in hospital after suddenly not drinking for 2 days and going into withdrawals but has now been discharged.

he doesn’t want to stop drinking and won’t engage in AA or anything similar. He knows what he’s doing and what is happening but it’s not enough to stop him.

I can’t do anything can I? He has capacity but is making poor and damaging choices.

I feel so helpless watching him self destruct and being unable to do anything about it.

Oh goodness, @TheDepthsOfDespair, that sounds like a complete rollercoaster for you.

I’ve been through similar (but different) with my dad and it’s so hard.

Just thought I’d give an update, kind of to give hope that things can get better after hitting rock bottom.

dad is still sober 6 months later and is going from strength to strength. He is like “old dad” before the booze took over.

he says he’s not even the tiniest bit tempted to ever drink again. I hope this is the case!!

we’ve booked a holiday together for this year, just the 2 of us, to spend some quality time together. 😊

I so hope that others can have similar outcomes with their loved ones who are battling with alcohol.

That's fantastic news, I wondered how you were getting on.

That’s a great update, hope things continue to go well.

That’s such a wonderful update. I hope you have a great holiday.

A friend’s mum had a similar turnaround after a stark warning and then support from her GP, who she’d known for many years. She’s been alcohol free for 12 months and is really enjoying life again.

How heart warming!

That's amazing OP. I hope you enjoy the time you have together ❤

Thank you both 😊

I mean, his body is damaged beyond repair and he’s 76 so probably won’t be around for a huge amount longer. But to see “him” again and not be constantly worried and upset is amazing.

Have you got power of attorney in place, at least for health and welfare? There's massive delays at the moment and it would have made our life much easier with DH. I don't mean to upset you but DH's last months were even more stressful because it hadn't come through in time.

Updates like this are rare but fantastic, so pleased for you both.

That's a wonderful update, well done your dad. I'm so happy you've got the old him back, make the absolute most of it!

Lovely update. You are very lucky. Make the most of getting your dad back xx

OP I read your last update with a huge smile. You have been such an incredible support to your Dad. I hope he lives many more years for you xxx

What a lovely update. My late father was an alcoholic who managed to stop drinking (died of something else much later).

Hope you have a great holiday.

I'm so glad, OP. You should be proud of him. It is a horrible sickness.