How do I help my friend

[Doje]

She recently confided in me that she's an alcoholic. Reading between the lines she's worse than she's letting on to me, but I'm guessing it's a good thing that she'd opened up at all to me.

How can I help her? Do I speak to get husband to get a better picture? Does it matter? What can I suggest to her to do, who to contact?

She's been to the GP who suggested a group. She went but didn't feel comfortable and I don't think she'll go back.

That's very brave of her! I hope she can find a group she feel later comfortable with. Annie Grace has a great online community that might help, also very popular is Sober Dave who is on Instagram and has his own app / sober community. He also offers 1- 1 coaching which might be useful. The fact that she's spoken up means she's ready to find help.

She's taken a huge step by admitting that to you which is brilliant. She obviously trusts you and you sound like a lovely friend. Could she utilise different parts of the group? Make a mumsnet account so it's anonymous? There are so many kind and compassionate people on here that have been through and are going through this.

if she went to her GP and they suggested groups it sounds like she's safe to detox at home. One of the steps at AA include writing out a list of all your regrets for things you've done whilst drinking. If she gets a good enough list and is completely honest, no matter how shameful she thinks the things are it can be so helpful when a craving hits. She doesn't have to show anyone.
did you ever suspect she was an alcoholic?

Just be careful that she’s not putting on you. If she doesn’t actually move forward with stopping drinking, and if she starts asking you to eg. lie for her, then you’ll need to pull away for your own MH.

Yes agree, don't be surprised if she tells you there's nothing really wrong, she was overreacting, she's fine etc going forward. And she may be completely convincing. If she wanted a drink badly enough she could persuade you that night is day.

In all honesty there’s little you can do but be her friend. she has to do all the hard work. She will only really do something about her addiction when she reaches rock bottom and that will be far lower than you can imagine.
The mantra for you is:
I didn’t cause it
I can’t control it
I can’t cure it.
Don’t let her make you ill and don’t lie for her.

Keep her chatting about it. There are some very supportive threads on here you could direct her to, and they often recommend books and podcasts that have changed their lives.

You could help her research other groups. That one may have felt wrong but a another group with a different approach or just a different set of people with an atmosphere that suits her, might work better.

You could also maybe suggest her joining you on a health kick project - something like C25K or if you're already fit, training for a marathon or London to Brighton cycle ride or similar.

But as PP have said, don't become her saviour and never ever shoulder responsibility for whether or not she drinks. You can agree to meet in cafes or for walks to avoid pubs and bars, but if you are in one and she orders a drink in front of you, don't play parent. Her drinking will only ever be her responsibility.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the replies!! I'd given up hope as I posted 3 days ago. I've done a lot of reading since then and have found a place to go to with her this week, which hopefully can tell her what help there is available. I'm also taking on board what you're all saying about not to let it affect me, but am quite hopeful at this stage.

@Haveatakeaway no, I didn't suspect a thing! Until she turned up at my house to babysit last week and she was acting decidedly odd....