Desperate to stop, failing.

[Sureen]

I keep wanting to post and reply on threads, especially where people have been so welcoming when I’ve posted on the occasions where I’ve had a couple of AF days, but I am eaten up with shame as I still can’t stop drinking.

I completely know what I need to do.

But, (I hate myself using the word ‘But’) I am so awfully depressed, burnt out from overworking, grieving, and my drinking is making everything much worse. Yet I can’t seem to go more than a couple of days AF.

I know there are others like me, who are ashamed to post on other threads, so please post here if you are in same position.

Maybe a place where we can post failures and details about our self-loathing will give some of that accountability we need. I don’t know. I desperately need to stop.

Sometimes I think if I could move far away from the grief triggers and work pressures, I could gently get myself better. But I know that’s just a fantasy.

Hi Sureen I think I recognise you from another thread. You have a lot of complex issues to sort through. I don't honestly think you can do it all at once.

You talk of grief, have you had counselling at all? Is it something you have come to terms with?

Work is a difficult one I think so many people are stressed with work atm. Do you enjoy your job? Is there anything you can do to improve it? Talk to managers, reduce hours? I try, but struggle not to allow work to spill into my life.

I have been sober for over 4 months now. Like you I was dealing with grief/close family illness/DC/ work. It took me so many attempts to quit. I have tried everything aa/paid for online courses/telling people etc.

I had to sort out the underlying problems first. I have had counselling and am taking anti depressants to.

Try to celebrate small steps, can you plan treats instead of drinking? I did this in the early days, face/hair mask, new audiobook, loads of chocolate/sweets/crisps and something great on TV. The more I cared for myself, the more I was determined to stop drinking.

Alcohol is a depressant and the problems we are trying to drink away still remain. Believe me life and all of its problems are so much easier without alcohol

Hello sureen, I’ll join in, I keep falling for the alcohol each night too, even though I done want to and know the benefits. I’m so fed up with it.

@Sureen you still about? I've just embarked on the Annie Grace 30 experiment and have to say I'm feeling hopeful. Worth a try maybe x