Desperate to stop, failing.

[Sureen]

I keep wanting to post and reply on threads, especially where people have been so welcoming when I’ve posted on the occasions where I’ve had a couple of AF days, but I am eaten up with shame as I still can’t stop drinking.

I completely know what I need to do.

But, (I hate myself using the word ‘But’) I am so awfully depressed, burnt out from overworking, grieving, and my drinking is making everything much worse. Yet I can’t seem to go more than a couple of days AF.

I know there are others like me, who are ashamed to post on other threads, so please post here if you are in same position.

Maybe a place where we can post failures and details about our self-loathing will give some of that accountability we need. I don’t know. I desperately need to stop.

Sometimes I think if I could move far away from the grief triggers and work pressures, I could gently get myself better. But I know that’s just a fantasy.

[Rupertpenrysmistress]

Hi Sureen I think I recognise you from another thread. You have a lot of complex issues to sort through. I don't honestly think you can do it all at once.

You talk of grief, have you had counselling at all? Is it something you have come to terms with?

Work is a difficult one I think so many people are stressed with work atm. Do you enjoy your job? Is there anything you can do to improve it? Talk to managers, reduce hours? I try, but struggle not to allow work to spill into my life.

I have been sober for over 4 months now. Like you I was dealing with grief/close family illness/DC/ work. It took me so many attempts to quit. I have tried everything aa/paid for online courses/telling people etc.

I had to sort out the underlying problems first. I have had counselling and am taking anti depressants to.

Try to celebrate small steps, can you plan treats instead of drinking? I did this in the early days, face/hair mask, new audiobook, loads of chocolate/sweets/crisps and something great on TV. The more I cared for myself, the more I was determined to stop drinking.

Alcohol is a depressant and the problems we are trying to drink away still remain. Believe me life and all of its problems are so much easier without alcohol

[Cleanbedlinen12]

Hello sureen, I’ll join in, I keep falling for the alcohol each night too, even though I done want to and know the benefits. I’m so fed up with it.

[wakeupandshakeup]

@Sureen you still about? I've just embarked on the Annie Grace 30 experiment and have to say I'm feeling hopeful. Worth a try maybe x