Does being pregnant count as sober time?

[recoveringyoungalco]

I'm currently pregnant and of course not drinking. I feel like a bit of cheat at meetings sometimes. When I say things like 'had a lovely weekend doing xyz that wouldn't be possible if I was drinking' I plan to remain sober after the baby is born but I can't promise I wouldn't have had another slip if I wasn't pregnant.

I've been on my 'journey to sobriety' the last 2 years. The longest I have gone without a slip is about 3 months. I am very obviously showing now and everyone at my meetings have been super supportive.

I think I should keep going while pregnant, even though I have no urge to drink right now I am worried it will return when I am no longer pregnant. So trying to 'soak up the sober help' while I can.

Not really looking for any advice, is it 'cheating' to count pregnancy as time off drink? Not sure that even makes sense!!

It's definitely not cheating because some women struggle to stay sober even during pregnancy. A woman I know had to go to a specialist rehab to stay sober during her pregnancy. Her little girl was born healthy, thankfully, but she still isn't in recovery.

Congratulations on both your pregnancy and your sobriety.

I've had addiction issues too (not alcohol) and I'd definitely count it. Not everyone manages to stay sober/clean whilst pregnant. Congratulations on your pregnancy and well done for staying sober.

No it's not cheating. Time sober is time sober. It's as important now as ever to keep up the meetings. The pregnancy is relevant, because it is giving you an extra incentive, but you absolutely should keep up the meetings. Anyone can slip at any time. This will help you not to now and in the future. Stay strong and well done.

Thanks, ya I have heard one woman in particular when ever she does her chair say she drank heavily through most of her pregnancy. I suppose I should be more sensitive actually because I have def said things like 'sober weekend but sure of course it was I'm pregnant' I don't want to make any other woman feel bad.

It is mostly old men at my meetings though. They are quite sweet about me being pregnant. They had to listen to all my MC stories 😑it was a major trigger for me the last two years.

I have been sober far far more in 2020/2021/ 2022 than I have been for any time in my life since I first had a drink and plan to stay sober. Life is just better! But I am trying not to be naive that this current feeling of having no desire to drink will def last once baby is here. Worried I won't make many meeting post baby either, I plan to BF. But sure I will go again when I can

You're not cheating - staying sober is still hard when you're pregnant and many women don't manage it. Well done OP

It's not cheating but I won't lie - it is different so be sure to get as much foundation of solid sobriety as you can before you have the baby. And be very very aware of changes / warning signs after birth.

I stopped during pregnancy with DC1 - looking back that's because I 'surrendered' and it wasn't my choice to drink or not. After I had him my alcoholism went off a cliff and 18 months later I was in AA.

I got pregnant with DC2 4 months into sobriety and it did make it easier. Plus society doesn't expect pregnant women to drink so I didn't have to have any awkward conversations with people about not drinking.

Use this time wisely - are you following a 12 step recovery?

@FusionChefGeoff I have kept going through my pregnancy. It is one of my worries tbh that the only reason I have surrendered now is because I have to. I had a slip shortly before getting pregnant but as I said way more sober the last two years than not if that makes sense.

I go to steps meetings. I went to a 3 month rehab as well which did give me a basis but I haven't found a sponsor.

You're doing great - next focus is to get that sponsor sorted and start going through your steps with them. Get as much done as you can before baby arrives.