How best to support my DP through early days of AF

[oldsoulrebel]

My DP has finally admitted to his alcohol addiction . 2 weeks AF so far . It came as a result of us splitting up for a while due to his drinking and on the back of a 4 day bender . However he is saying all the right things and I am really hoping he is really going to succeed. I just would like some advice on how to best support him . Do we still socialise as normal ? We have only been in situations where no one else is drinking so far. I am aware that he feels a bit bored without his usual crutch and also suffers with anxiety . He isn't willing to do AA but he is open with his feelings . I also have problems with trusting him as he has obviously lied to me constantly over the years ( only about drinking ) and even though he is admitting to his problem for the first time and realises at last that cutting down isn't an option for him and I'm concerned that he is just telling me what I want to hear . Any advice would be gratefully received

In a similar situation.DP’s excessive drinking came to light after a DUI.He has got himself an addiction counsellor through the Priory and is doing SMART recovery meetings.At his request,we haven’t socialised at all.We have been to eat out a few times where alcohol was being consumed but he felt ok he said.
He also breathalyses every night before bed just to keep himself accountable.He says he will be ready to socialise in a few months.
We have read lots of quit lit together.Alcohol explained,allan care,the unexpected joys of being sober are all good.He has signed up to I am Sober app which tracks sobriety.He is drinking diet coke,lots of tea and sparkling water.
Keeping himself occupied by doing lots of cooking,reading,exercising is all helping him be less restless and bored.

Thank you . Dp is determined to go it alone . I do believe he is ready but trusting that he won't change his mind is hard

I know how you feel.After all the deception and lying,I am always worried that he will relapse.But then I cannot ruin my life thinking about what may happen when it hasn’t happened yet!
We can only offer as much support as we can and hope for the best!

As a voice of gloom (sorry. Really sorry).

Having regrettably been in this situation with a spouse AND a parent, be wary.

If something starts to seem off, trust your instincts. Be prepared to preserve your mental and physical health too.

(I wanted to believe my dead ex was “sober” so hard that I somehow genuinely didn’t see the hundreds of hidden bottles in the house, until I did. It was about fifteen years ago now and I still have no idea how I believed him so long when all the signs were there).