In the early days of an AF life did you still socialise?

[katedan]

Have spent years trying various things to cut down drinking and generally I only drink 3 days a week but on those days I drink way too much and I know I need to stop, DH and I enable each other and he is no way ready to stop. We socialise a lot and although if places I can drive I will try to be the driver if meeting people at local pub or our house how do I explain no drinking, I am thinking of saying I am dieting as I do need to lose a few pounds but I can see the " one drink won't harm" kicking in and for me it is none or too much 8 have no off switch. I am worried I will lose friends and my social life if I stop drinking but really need a good excuse to be sober at the pub.

[Drybird2020]

If you're serious about quitting, you need to treat it as a whole new lifestyle and do whatever you need to do to protect your sobriety.

This could include reducing socialising for a bit. If you go out, always be the driver. You can take time off inviting people over and accepting invitations.

I'm very much of the opinion that you can fake it till you make it. So you can pick from a range of excuses; an early start the next day, medication that can't be combined with alcohol, crash diet for an upcoming holiday... or say you are doing Sober Spring and taking a few weeks off.

Sounds like you need to be very clear with your DH about what you are doing. I was worried that mine would find it hard as we have always been drinking buddies and partied pretty hard from when we were first together. But he has adapted really well and now drinks extremely moderately (I can't do that, it's all or nothing for me.)

Why don't you come and join the long running Freedom Threads? You'll get loads of support from old timers and buddies just starting out. Only thing is you need to be alcohol free to join. I heartily recommend it - so much easier to not drink at all than to struggle with moderating. Life without booze gets better and better.

[katedan]

Thank you Drybird for your response, i have read some of the freedom thread and love the support, I know it will be a massive lifestyle change and I am looking at different ideas for support such as AA etc, ultimately it might cause the end of my marriage and loss of some friendships but it will hopefully save my health longterm.

[brightspice]

@katedan If you could choose what type of drinker you'd like to be, what would that look like? If you could choose exactly how much to drink and drink just that, how much would that be? Answer these questions from what YOU want, not based on what others might think about you.