Worried I can’t have fun without a drink..

[Beautifulmonster87]

34 year old mum and enjoy drinking… mainly socially and not excessive amounts but a few drinks is all it takes to relax me, make me feeling more outgoing and generally enjoy social situations more. I look forward to letting my hair down when my child is being looked after on the rare occasion I go out…

However, I have recently been diagnosed with a heart issue and alcohol makes it a lot worse. In fact alcohol could potentially kill me as it is causing dangerous rhythms.
Now I know this, I need to stop drinking completely of course.
But I’m really sad about it.
I know it’s for my health but as above… I enjoy the feeling alcohol gives me and I worry I’m really boring and unsociable without alcohol in my system!

I have a festival, hen abroad and numerous weddings coming up and have never done any of these things without a drink!

Any words of wisdom from others who are in the same situation.. is it really sad that I can’t enjoy things without alcohol?!

Hi Beautifulmonster87 I am in a similar situation as you. Well actually, I am sober 70 days sober today. I am a working mum of 2 and enjoyed my wine, it was my treat and I looked forward to it. However, after many failed attempts to moderate and quit I have proven to myself I have to quit

Initially it was easy in as much as I avoided any social situation. Recently, I have been tested and it has been difficult, the first time I went into a pub sober, there wasn't any decent alternative (unless you like af beer/ale) so I ended up with half a diet coke 😩. My DH was drinking and that's fine but, I felt so angry with myself for being unable to have a drink when every other person in the pub could. Basically I was not prepared and you really need to be.

If you are going out and you think there is risk you might drink I would say don't go. The early days are hard hard, hard. I have now got a selection of alternative drinks I would have. I very nearly just had a wine at the pub but persevered and I felt good once I had got home.

Are you planning to go sober or moderate? My reason for stopping is my MH is 1000 times better, my DC and DH deserve better and my health. I had some routine bloods taken and I was deficit in B12 and folate, this is often the case in drinkers. My liver tests luckily were fine. It really is tough but in my mind it is worth it, friends and family have accepted this and now don't offer or persuade me to have just one.

I avoided a night out this weekend as I am known as the loud/funny one who loves a drink, I know that people would try to convince me to have one, but, I am not strong enough just yet. I will be soon I just need more sober time under my belt.

Good luck, it is one of the best things I have done.

I’m on a journey of drastic cutting back - I suspect I was drinking more than you. I went to a gig last night and didn’t drink, but I sang and danced and had a whale of a time. It was a first for me. What I realised was that it was the music, the company and the buzz of the crowd that relaxed me.

I started a thread about Friday nights in AIBU which had some good suggestions of alternative ways to relax which might be worth a read for you. Going out is a different challenge but I do think it’s all about mindset. Maybe start with some smaller social events, a meal out with friends or something, to get used to socialising sober. I bet you can you know.

@Rupertpenrysmistress and @Wrinklepicker thanks both for your replies. Well I am thinking I will be told to quit for good as well as caffeine. My heart is over sensitive even to one alcoholic drink and I can actually feel tipsy from a couple of sips of wine! Cheap date but worrying what it does to my body!

I usually get a fast heart the night after drinking which is scary enough but I’m now getting odd rhythms and as I’m under a cardiologist and have a monitor implanted, they’ve captured it and I know they’ll ask what caused it and it was ONE sip of baileys… literally one sip!

@Rupertpenrysmistress I am also known as the funny loud one when I drink but I also get bad hangovers and sometimes worry what I did or said the night before so I know it will do me good! My DH doesn’t drink as he gets terrible hangovers but smokes weed occasionally, something I don’t enjoy plus not the same effect as alcohol!!

I am sure I’ll get used to the sober life but I hate that I looked forward to all these events to have a nice glass of wine and let me hair down and I don’t know how I would without a drink! I also have to remind myself why, I mean do I want a heart issue abroad with friends away from family… hmm no!!

Sorry to hijack your post. But @Rupertpenrysmistress I have just had bloods done and had some slightly elevated levels ALT 40, MCV 101 and MCH 32.1 I have been concerned about this as I drink more than the recommend amount and was drinking quite a lot over the last year or so. Nearly a bottle of wine a day (lockdown has a lot to answer for)! I have cut back over last 2 months as want to be healthier/lose weight and now only weekend drink. However I am worried about recent bloods can I ask what your levels were? Since these results end of last week I have had an alcohol free weekend (didn't actually bother me not drinking and we even went to the pub for a meal). I intend to not drink for the next 2 weeks till my repeat bloods incase these levels were caused by alcohol and then if I want to drink I will but only on a weekend but only within recommend units.

@Beautifulmonster87 I'm sure you can enjoy yourself sober its probably just going to be a bit daunting at times although also more rewarding no hangover, no last night anxiety. When I don't want to drink I turn myself into designated driver as that gets rid of any temptation to drink. Also having a soft drink/mocktail in a wine or cocktail glass makes the drink seem a bit more exciting.

Holidayyys my ALT was 13 should be 5-40. My MCV was 105 should be 83-101. My MCH was 34.7 should be 27-32. My B12 and folate were also low but don't know the range. As my basic LFT were normal GP didn't think alcohol induced until I mentioned it. I now need to have more in-depth liver blood tests. I need to get these bloods done but I am scared about the results. I will get them repeated though.

I only had bloods done as I thought I was peri menopausal so GP wanted to rule out other causes.

I'm bloody terrified. I only had them because of some irregular bleeding. Everything I google suggests chronic liver disease. I'm hoping by not drinking till my next test hopefully they will come down. What are the indepth liver tests for?

To the posters who have had blood tests. Did you all start the process by going to your GP's?

Yes I only had blood tests done for something else but some results came back out of range.

Horlicks4me I had blood tests as the GP wanted to check for other reasons for my peri menopausal symptoms before I started HRT. You know night sweats and the rage 🙄. Anyway, I was worried about the basic liver tests being abnormal but they were not! However, my B12 and folate were low which is common in drinkers. My GP was unaware at this point about my alcohol intake, she wanted to retest my bloods. I asked if I could do anything to improve my B12 and was then questioned about alcohol use

So Holidayyys a more in-depth liver test looks at something called gamma GT and I believe that indicates longer term alcohol abuse and is quite concerning. Anyway I am booked in for this test tomorrow. I am hoping that as I have been sober 72 days this test will be normal 🤞.

Thanks @Rupertpenrysmistress. Fingers crossed it all goes well for you. If you don't mind me asking how much did you used to drink. Also did the GP give any recommendations for improving b12?

My drinking was variable I would say anywhere between 4-5 bottles of wine a week Could be more (or less) if I was going out/Xmas/weekend of etc. It was a problem. I knew this for years and tried so many times to quit/moderate. I went to my GP accessed AA, had counselling. I drank to forget. I have finally addressed my MH and prioritised my family. I hope never to drink again.

It is tough to stay sober and it's fragile but the benefits are so worth it.

Not sure how I feel if my bloods are abnormal though.

Op and pp please can I just say thank you for a sensible discussion about alcohol? So often on here you get lambasted for 1 glass of wine twice a week or told

The Living without alcohol thread is worth a browse, @Beautifulmonster87. Lots of people on there dealing with issues such as socialising when AF:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4461184-The-freedom-thread-continued-Riding-the-rollercoaster-of-an-alcohol-free-life

Beautifulmonster87 how are you doing? Have you had any more thoughts on how you will manage sober social situations? Will you struggle to give up caffeine? I don't mind decaff coffee but not yet found a good decaff tea.

Holidayyys I had my blood results and my gamma GT is normal 😊. My B12 is now high but I did start supplements, my folate is normal. I am sure it is because I quit alcohol. Fyi I have taken all of the supplements recommend by Craig Beck is his book. These supplements are intended to support the liver in repairing and to replace nutrients lost through drinking. I really believe this has helped. I am so relieved. I have to admit I did wait until I was alcohol free for 70 days to get my bloods. How are you doing?

@Rupertpenrysmistress great news on your blood tests

Yeah all good here. I've booked repeat bloods for next week. I'll take a look at vitamins although I have bought some b12 vitamins and already take a multi vitamin daily. Thats great news @Rupertpenrysmistress you got the results back quick which is a relief for you to quickly find out the outcome x