Unsupportive Partner.?

[drybird]

Just that really, needed very much to reset my drinking consumption as did my H .. he lasted 13 days. Back on the red wine (bottle per night) totally unhelpful and I feel inconsiderate. He's always been a wine drinker, far too much if I'm brutally honest.. it won't make me crack but it's really getting my back up. Can anyone else relate?

Hi @drybird, unlurking just for you!
I hear you, I too have an unsupportive OH (“do you expect me to stop too?”).

This is my 3rd DJ, and the only one that he’s not derailed me halfway through for his birthday (I do the rest of the month anyway).

Something feels different this time, I also did 2.5 weeks in December, and am reading etc to try to change my mindset. I’m planning on carrying on after Jan. I had hoped he would at least cut down a little, but no.

I try to apply everything I am learning, using him as the subject of the alcohol experiment, rather than myself. I think Catherine Grey does something similar - imagining she is Attenborough narrating on humans drinking in their natural environment!

I also try to just treat it as an extra challenge - if I can deal with him doing that most nights, socialising AF will hopefully be not so hard!

I’m also trying not to track his units or comment (too much, easier said than done), it’s a bit like having my past behaviour illuminated

it takes strength to keep going on by yourself - you got this!

Oh, and I give myself double gold stars/pats on the back for the days that I don’t drink, and where he is getting sozzled on a bottle of wine (or more)

You honestly have to forget about what he is doing and concentrate on yourself. Put that extra energy that you are spending berating him not sticking to it into finding things to do that make you happy. Look at him as who who don't want to be..brutal as that sounds. Congratulate yourself for every sober night you rack up while he guzzles away. That is his path, his decision but your path no longer involves alcohol so forge ahead and keep going. You are doing amazing.

Good advice thank you both. I don't mention his drinking to him, it's totally his choice and if he chooses to drink night after night so be it. I've done a spin class and swimming this morning, as bright as a button! I know which path I prefer, just sad he can't seem to turn it round off only for the sake of his health and our children - who need us.