Dp and alcahol.

[Flo2022]

Together 4 years with a 1 and a bit year old baby. Drinking has always been as issue but really come to the surface since dc has come along as I have grown up and he hasn't. In the early months any time we had a fight he would go on benders all night drinking until 7am the next morning probably at least 7 times that has happened.

He does not drink everyday but has no control over how much he drinks when he starts. He has no off button. I had to put my foot down at the start of the relationship that spirits were off limits as they made him act like a mad man.

He is not a pleasant drunk. He can go from being happy and cheery to aggressive looking for fights, rude and verbally abusive and the slightest thing can set him off. He sits up alone until early hours of the morning drinking alone and will drink between 8 to 10 large cans of beer sometimes more. He Has urinated on the wall instead of toilet twice but not in recent times. Sleep talks strange things and causes me a lot of anxiety as I never know what version he will be. He cannot help himself. Recently we went for a walk at 12 in the day with the baby and decided to get some food and he ordered a pint while everyone else was still eating breakfast. I was embarrassed this is just one small example.

He has admitted in the past there may be a problem and then seems to forget and goes back to drinking. Also weed has become an issue in recent months and on one occasion he told me he was using weed to substitute alcahol. Again gets forgotten about.

We split for a few weeks and he drank pretty much every night he was gone even while he was ill with the flu .

Have been doing a lot of research and honestly think that he is a functioning alcaholic who binges. His mother was an alcaholic and After another drink related argument last night I have asked him to do dry January he has agreed but I know in my heart he will not last. Just looking for people who have been through similar situations and how you got through it. I know realistically it will probably come down to an ultimatum us or the drink and the drink will probably win.

[timetowakeup580]

Sorry to tell you that I got through it by leaving

[HangingOver]

I was about six month off being him. I quit completely because I could no longer ignore the evidence that it was harming me and my relationships. If he will admit the same, you might be alright (it will probably take him a few gos). There is so much fantastic support out there when you decide to take it. If he maintains denial then you have to decide how much time you're willing to waste on him getting his act together. You might be waiting a long time.

I just anted to add my perspective as everyone on here always says if you have any type of drug or alcohol dependency you're basically forever doomed to be feckless and selfish but it's not true. Loads of addicts maintain long term sobriety, there are millions of us. But you do need to really want it.