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Alcohol support

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Original poster

A stark warning

39 replies

timetowakeup580 · 22/12/2021 12:05

Posting to share the real consequences of drinking too much.

I don't want to come across as judgy and I've stopped drinking myself based on unhealthy patterns that I built up over a number of years but I'm not posting about myself, as I'm lucky to not have any liver issues.

A close relative is in their early forties and has been told they don't have long to live thanks to cirrhosis and liver failure. They have got to the stage where there is no way back for their body unless they stop drinking and even then, the only chance at life is a liver transplant which requires abstinence, a body healthy enough to cope with a new organ and support to cope after a transplant. They are under the care of a palliative support team and considering a hospice. They are attending hospital weekly to have fluid drained from their abdomen as their liver doesn't process toxins and more. They are having episodes of HE which is a type of brain disfunction caused by the liver failing. They are at high risk of dying any day because of bleeding, infection, increased risk of heart attack. They have reduced mobility and no appetite. They have teenage children who have had to be told this awful news. Sadly for the person involved they cannot stop drinking despite rehabilitation and so there will be no miraculous outcome here, just a very painful and sad demise.

I urge anyone worried about their drink habits to focus on this. The person I'm posting about drank wine, not litres of spirits every day. There were signs of a problem for years before but they buried their head in the sand, as did others around them.
If you feel concerned about your own drinking, take this as a sign. Speak to your GP, your family, AA, an online group. Your body can and does repair itself unless you get to the point my relative is at.
If I can help even one person with this message then I've done my job.
Merry Christmas all

OP posts:

Runforthehillocks · 22/12/2021 12:23

This happened to someone I knew too. Also 'just' a wine drinker. They were in their mid-fifties, with a teenaged child.

ArblemarzipanTFruitcake · 22/12/2021 12:25

A poignant message and sensible warning. Thank you OP and I hope your close relative can have as peaceful an end as is possible in the circumstances.

The4ks · 22/12/2021 12:40

Can relate to this having just lost my sister at 38 with 3 young children.
Please seek help early for yourself or anyone you care about with alcohol issues

EssexSue · 22/12/2021 12:43

its time people realised that alcohol is a poison , linked to 7 types of cancer , not safe in any amount & long term alcohol abuse will have bad consequences , time alcohol advertsing was banned world wide like it already is in some countries

puppylambkins · 22/12/2021 14:51

My DH died just over a year ago due to a number of alcohol related issues... basically he bled to death and there was nothing I could do to help. I'm still reliving his last moments to this day. It's such an awful disease

Mabelface · 22/12/2021 15:39

My friend died when she was 27 after her liver packed up due to her drinking. She'd previously had her child removed for the same reason.

Smithy92 · 24/12/2021 23:31

@timetowakeup580 I hope you don't mind me asking, but my dad is somewhere along the scale of liver failure. He's getting abdominal fluid, has definite mental issues (what's HE btw?), Has paling of the feed and hands, reduced mobility, and has been told his liver isn't yet at hepatitis but is definitely not absorbing all of the alcohol, so it is well on the way to that. Do you mind me asking if you saw this part of their life and if so what happened next?

MamaWeasel · 24/12/2021 23:36

I would also like to know what HE is, please?

user15364596354862 · 24/12/2021 23:45

hepatic encephalopathy

Smithy92 · 24/12/2021 23:47

Ahh, looking it up it seems to be an all round impact to mental / brain functions. Confusion, bad judgement, personality changes, sleep issues, slurred speech etc.

Original poster

timetowakeup580 · 24/12/2021 23:58

[quote Smithy92]@timetowakeup580 I hope you don't mind me asking, but my dad is somewhere along the scale of liver failure. He's getting abdominal fluid, has definite mental issues (what's HE btw?), Has paling of the feed and hands, reduced mobility, and has been told his liver isn't yet at hepatitis but is definitely not absorbing all of the alcohol, so it is well on the way to that. Do you mind me asking if you saw this part of their life and if so what happened next?[/quote]
I'm sorry to say that it sounds as though your dad already has a badly damaged liver. The fluid build up (ascites) happens when the liver cannot effectively deal with toxins any more and they end up in the body rather than excreted through urine. This fluid can become infected and will require regular draining or at least regular water tablets to control it. The British Liver Trust have some really good information on this if you Google them.
HE is hepatic encephalopathy and is another symptom of liver failure. Again the BLT have info on this but essentially it is confusion, memory loss, aggression etc.
My relative was diagnosed with hepatitis a number of years before they got to the point they are at now which is decomposated as opposed to compensated liver disease. Once you get to that stage the only hope is to stop drinking and see if you are a suitable candidate for transplant.
I'd be asking your dad's doctors for more information.

OP posts:

Original poster

timetowakeup580 · 24/12/2021 23:59

*decompensated

OP posts:

Smithy92 · 25/12/2021 00:46

@timetowakeup580 thanks, does the HE impact the drunk brain only, or also impact them when they haven't drunk?
Sorry have also re-read the messages from my mum who said he has Bloating, but not specifically because of liquid at this point. It still amazes me how he hasn't been diagnosed with Hepatitis / Cirrhosis yet when he's had Gastritis, Alcoholic Anemia (we think), definite mental issues when under the influence, and some alcohol not being absorbed fully due to his liver. Somehow the doctor's think he is still only at Fatty Liver.
His judgement, mood swings, anger and confusion are dreadful once he has drunk (two hospitalisations in the last 2 months - cracked skull falling backwards for one, lost tooth and fractured eye socket for the other)

Original poster

timetowakeup580 · 25/12/2021 20:55

[quote Smithy92]@timetowakeup580 thanks, does the HE impact the drunk brain only, or also impact them when they haven't drunk?
Sorry have also re-read the messages from my mum who said he has Bloating, but not specifically because of liquid at this point. It still amazes me how he hasn't been diagnosed with Hepatitis / Cirrhosis yet when he's had Gastritis, Alcoholic Anemia (we think), definite mental issues when under the influence, and some alcohol not being absorbed fully due to his liver. Somehow the doctor's think he is still only at Fatty Liver.
His judgement, mood swings, anger and confusion are dreadful once he has drunk (two hospitalisations in the last 2 months - cracked skull falling backwards for one, lost tooth and fractured eye socket for the other)[/quote]
What sort of care is he getting? Is he under a hepatologist for his liver? I wonder whether the dots are being joined up when it comes to his different symptoms? Does your mum get to speak to hospital staff when he is admitted or does he pass on messages himself as this is often the problem, you never get the full story from the problem drinker.
I think the other issue is a lot of the differing prognoses in liver disease seem to come down to genetics and luck. Some people are badly affected in their thirties and some carry on drinking until their 60s, the only similarity being that once they are past the point of no return when their liver stops functioning, it's a fairly quick decline from there.
The HE affects at all times, not just whilst drunk although I do notice the irritability and nastiness is much worse when they are drunk.

OP posts:

gunnersgold · 25/12/2021 21:02

Alcohol is literally poison ! I know 3 people that have died because of it , one bled out in a horrific death and the others had a slow painful death . All in their 30's or 49's . My dad was an alcoholic and I don't drink as he died from complications from drinking too! Such a bloody waste of life !

Dozer · 25/12/2021 21:07

That’s really sad.

I don’t think, though, that sad stories necessarily motivate people to address addiction.

gunnersgold · 25/12/2021 21:10

The problem is it's so accepted , I know so many people that drink them selves in to a state week in week out .Wine o'clock and Prosecco time etc make it sound fun and safe .. ridiculous really!

Moonface123 · 25/12/2021 21:12

Thankyou for sharing this, so many lives are devastated by alcohol, not just the alcoholics.

KeyLimePies · 25/12/2021 21:36

There was a thread a couple of days ago asking how many bottles of bubbly would be enough for the OP to have some over a couple of days and then enough for guests to have with Christmas dinner (4 people, and one of the 4 would only have a small glass). With my sensible head on I thought 3 bottles = half a bottle a day for OP and approx half a bottle per person during Xmas dinner. The OP’s DH thought the same and bought 3 bottles. He was slated. The consensus was that people need at least a bottle or two each as it’s Christmas. I was amazed at the amount of booze people are planning to drink over the holidays. I think one couple had 18 bottles of wine that they planned to get through between Xmas Eve and new year (no guests). Nearly everyone posting had bought a ton of booze, just in case… I can’t find the thread now so maybe it’s gone.

KeyLimePies · 25/12/2021 21:38

I think I was shocked as the thread normalised binge drinking on a massive scale “because it’s Christmas”

Haggisfish3 · 25/12/2021 21:40

I needed to read this thread today. Thank you.

MsEmmeline · 25/12/2021 21:46

Thanks for posting this OP. I don't drink alcohol, but my Dad was an alcoholic, so our family lived through that trauma.

I hate seeing drinking culture normalised and joked about, I think it damages so many people.

billycorn · 25/12/2021 21:53

Thank you for posting this op.

pastabest · 25/12/2021 21:57

Alcoholism is a disease. Anyone motivated by this post to stop drinking are unlikely to be the people likely to die from alcoholism.

If news of your own imminent death isn't enough to persuade you to stop drinking then why would the news of a stranger's be any more persuasive?

I hope your relative and her family can find some peace in this awful situation OP. [Flowers]

WhatsTheEffingPoint · 25/12/2021 22:24

I know someone like this, her and her DH drank like fishes, she ended up with the bloated stomach, fluid being drained, end up with a feeding tube down her nose, she looked awful and I didn't think she would be alive for long. She got a liver transplant just before lockdown last year the next time I saw her she was a different woman, she looked well and healthy. Thankfully she has not touched alcohol since but her DH still drinks but not to the levels he did before but it still surprises me considering how worried he was about her and what he saw her go through.

Alcohol is a serious drug, its just not seen in the same way as other hard drugs unfortunately. Everyone turns a blind eye to a few glasses of wine each day but they certainly wouldn't if it was a few lines of coke etc.

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