Been with my dbf for 2 years . I always knew he liked a drink and when we first were together it seemed normal to meet in pubs and have a few drinks together . We don't live together, I usually stay at his 3-4 nights a week .
In the time we have been together I have noticed his drinking is getting so much worse.
If I go round to his it is normal that he will already be well on his way to getting totally smashed and continues to drink until he either passes out or becomes argumentative .
I'm not blameless . I have on occasion tried to drink with him ( I like a couple of glasses of wine ) and sometimes I will drink more than I intend to mostly to stop him from drinking it all. We have got into a bad cycle and as his drinking has increased so has my tolerance to his drink problem .
He is in denial he has a problem , lies about the amount he has had to drink and seems to believe he is just having a good time . He doesn't have a good time . He can easily drink 2-3 bottles of wine with no food and gets way past the point of being able to have a conversation and our sex life is non-existent. Despite all this he is an amazing man , everything I want . I know I will get lots of LTB , and I have tried , over the last 3 months we have separated on 3 occasions but I can't seem to give up on him . I have been reading lots about how I deal with his alcoholism and recently attended an al-anon meeting .
I am working on me and coping better than I was . I want to be there for him and when he is sober he will promise me he will change . But he always let's me down . I dread going to see him as I dread what I will find when I go round. I have changed my behaviour (can't change his) and make sure that I am able to drive home when he gets into the state where he becomes argumentative ( he's never nasty or abusive , just wants to argue about anything) . All the stuff I have read advises to not nag or mention the drinking, but that's the part I find so hard . I am due to go over this afternoon , we have plans that don't involve drinking for this evening . I haven't heard from him yet although he should have been home from work by now . The way it usually goes is I will go round , he will be asleep (drunk) , will deny drinking despite the evidence , I loose my shit , storm off , don't speak for days . Then he apologises , I weaken and the cycle continues . I need to do it differently and am going to try today to just leave him to it of he is drunk when I arrive and enjoy a night out without him . Its the not getting angry with him i find so difficult. Sorry this is much longer than I intended , and I don't even know what I'm hoping to hear , but feel better for getting it down .