Hello all
A shiny new thread for those that would like to give up alcohol forever and a shiny new OP. (twirls)
The wonderful Drybird started these thread a loooong time ago and I'm sure many of you will agree that it has made such a massive difference to the lives of those who have read them or posted on them. Drybird would like to take a little break from hosting the threads so asked me if I would start one this time. The suggestion was that we can take it in turns after that which I think is a great idea .
Anyone is welcome to join and post but please be aware that this thread is for those of us who want to give up alcohol completely. It doesn't matter if you are on day 1, week 6 or year 5 (and it doesn't matter how many day 1s you have), there just has to be an intention to let go of alcohol altogether. So please no talk of moderating or drinking at the present moment or in the future, it can be triggering for some of us. There are many other wonderful threads for those who would prefer to moderate and we wish you well. If you decide that total abstinence is for you then come back.
It doesn't matter what your reason is, if you feel like it's an issue then you are welcome. It really is a friendly bunch. I also want to say hello to all the lurkers who don't want to post for one reason or another and say I hope that these threads give you support too.
There are many threads before this so if you are new, do look back, there is always at least a link to the last one at the beginning of each. Every thread is rich with advice and support. I personally have felt held in so many ways by each and everyone who has posted and I don't feel I would be here at 1yr2 months sober without it. Post daily, hourly even if it helps or just dip in now and again when you feel the need. It's not always the easist thing to do but it is worth it and it is easier with a group as supportive as this. We are each other's cheerleaders and underatns where we are coming from when the times are tough.
Here is the link to the last one....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4324737-Freedom-An-alcohol-free-thread-for-alcohol-free-people
These threads have been a lifesaver for so many of us with ideas from AF alternatives, Quit Lit suggestions to why our brains are wired the way they are and what tools we can learn to help us break free from the fog of alcohol. But most of all it's a lovely safe space where we can talk, vent, moan, ask questions, give advice and support each other. As we get to know each other there is also a lot of daily chat about what's going on in our lives - running, books, gardening, yoga and family. It really is a warm, welcoming and friendly space so do join in.
The suggestion to get this thread going is for everyone to have a think of what they gain from not drinking, what are the positives? Or if you are on day 1 then what is the thing you are most looking forward to? Let's let go of the idea that we are denying ourselves something or that we are living less than and list what we are gaining instead.
My main positive (in amongst all the fresh skin, clear head, lack of hangovers, lack of shame better health - physically and mentally, I could go on and on........) is the fact that I don't have the eternal converation in my head going round of whether to have a drink that day or not. I am (mostly) free from that and it is amazing!
So whether you are a regular or a newbie, do say hello and introduce yourself.
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Alcohol support
The Freedom Thread - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life
Breathmiller · 02/10/2021 18:47
Welcome, @wineaway. My god you’ve been through a traumatic time. I’m so sorry you were not able to be with your mum. That’s so very hard. Well done for dropping the alcohol despite everything. 
Welcome @Wineaway. My goodness you have done so we to get through the year you have had and quit the wine. I’m very sorry to hear of your many losses and in such a short time.
@SparklingLime @Kindtomyself.
The mindfulness training was a free zoom session organised through my work and I don’t have a link or anything unfortunately as it was a live session. It’s an organisation up here in Scotland called Ten for Zen. I found the website for it, but that’s all I have: (tenforzen-mindfulness.thinkific.com/courses/An-Introduction-to-Mindfulness). There is a Facebook page too but I try to avoid going near the F!
Night, I am off to sleep now.
Morning.
@iamyourequal thanks for the information, it's just interesting to start thinking about my reactions to things. I've been having therapy recently and I'm finding it all a bit odd but I think it's really helping me to grow (I think it's something I will appreciate more in a few months). However I think he's trying to suggest that my reactions to certain situations and people are not helpful. I was really offended by this as I didn't agree but now I'm starting to wonder....however I do need to also remember that my feelings are valid and I'm allowed to have them as I did used to repress/suppress (never too sure of the right word here) them.
@Adm1010 I'm up early too but don't experts say it's better to have consistent sleep patterns ie going to bed/getting up at the same time? Not sure how true that is. Sorry you've had unsettling dreams, maybe it's because of your soul searching and just a process you need to go through. I know what you mean about difficult friendships after acting like a dick. I've got a few of them. We need to be self compassionate about all this. We're not bad people trying to be good, we're ill people trying to get better.
@behindhereyes good morning and welcome to the thread. Congratulations on your month AF, I'm 35 days so we're similar.
I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter that must be so hard for her and everyone around her. I wish her a full recovery.
You have done amazing not drinking through such a difficult time as I know that a lot of people would have turned to the booze and you're totally right that you need a be mentally available for her at this time but look after you too.
All the positives you have mentioned really resonate with me but I don't think I listed them in my positives at the beginning of the thread. It's very freeing to know that alcohol isn't to blame for my behaviour now. I stumbled getting up from my chair in a restaurant yesterday and nearly fell over...that was because I'm slightly clumsy rather than any alcohol 
@behindhereyes, so sorry to hear about your daughter, I hope she gets the best care.
It's so true about wanting to be present and as your real self, not masking everything with alcohol.
You're in a good place here, it's a safe non-judgemental thread. Please keep posting, we are all very supportive.
Well done on your one month AF.
@Adm1010 is it something you could talk to friend about? I believe that to get rid of shame we have to talk about it. I'm not saying that you SHOULD do this as I am definitely no expert but I think I'm in a similar position and at some point I'm going to have to face it head on to have a fulfilling life that I (and you and everyone here) deserve. Just exploring ideas/thinking out loud.
I saw a bloke yesterday who was out the last night I was out drinking when I made a total idiot of myself. I can't even look him in the eye...I pretend I don't see him. It's dreadful. I don't actually know him very well and there was a large group there but I'm so ashamed 
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Hello @coodawoodashooda welcome. It's a very supportive thread 
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