Can anyone advise or give me tips on how to stop drinking when partner still drinks at home

[Teeh]

I would like to cut down or stop altogether, but I don’t think the desire to stop is there for my partner. It is so much harder to stop when there is an open bottle of wine in the fridge. I feel if it was a joint mission it would be so much easier. But do I just need to have stronger will power of my own? Has anyone done this?

Read Alcohol Explained by William Porter. I bought it for my sister and she’s not touched alcohol in over a year.

I would honestly ask him tempoararily to only drink when you're not there, and to keep the alcohol somewhere else (in a cupboard you don't usually use for example) rather than the fridge where you can see it. Then be out a couple of evenings a week, and during these times he can put his wine in the fridge and drink it as he likes.

It sounds drastic but would be the only way it would work for me!

In some good news I live with drinking people and no longer drink myself. For the first month I just had to stay away from them when they were drinking, as described above, but after the month mark I found it quite easy to just drink soft drinks whilst they drank wine. I did find it really important to have some kind of nice drink on hand myself though, lemonade and cranberry or ginger beer were good ones. I still can't sit with a drinking person with no drink at all myself, having empty hands drives me nuts!

Fever tree make a delicious blood orange soda. Not as sweet as most carbonated drinks (though I doubt it would count as low calorie exactly). Hopefully it has a bit too much 'bite' for the kids to want it.

I also love the pukka teas, like turmeric and three ginger. Don't suppose the kids would want those, but on the other hand, also probably perfectly fine for them to have them.

Could he drink the wine in an non-winey looking glass? A mug or the kids juice beakers? Anything to make it not look like what it is? Then you could maybe trick yourself into thinking it’s tea in that mug he has, or it’s lemonade he has in that purple plastic kids beaker.

If he refuses would he at least drink it away from you so you don’t see it?

I’m expecting he’ll refuse both as he probably doesn’t want you to stop as he sees nothing wrong with having a few. That or if you succeed it will make him look like the failure.

Could he get in only enough wine for what he needs? ie only but a bottle every second day so he knows it has to last him. Or buy a smaller bottle daily. Just so there’s not a stash always in your eyeline.

Good luck and I think you can do this. You’re trying really hard and I have faith that you will manage this, by hook or by crook.