Where to start

[PurpleDaisy2114]

I know I have a problem. I drink roughly 6 bottles of wine a week- usually over 2 or 3 nights. Some nights it is therefore 3 bottles on one night. I prefer to drink alone, once kids tea and jobs are done.
My husband hates it. He says it is horrible to come into as the house smells of wine. I might be playing mario with my dd, playing music a bit loudly or just sitting quietly in the garden.
He asks how many bottles I've had and is annoyed with me. He will walk out on some occasions- saying he can't bear to watch me. He says he doesn't want to drink himself at all.
DS is an older teenager and says I'm not looking after myself. My preteen daughter says she worries about me.
I've hid empty/full bottles.
I am scared they are losing respect for me. I just see wine as my coping mechanism and can't give it up.
I have had blurred vision and get painful leg cramps. I swear alot but thought that this was because I am very overweight.
Im thinking I may book gp appt to check liver function etc. I want to know how bad things are...
Hard to know where to start though.

Try reading the joy of being sober, the book really helped me way back in January when I was doing dry January. I’ve not drunk alcohol since 1st January 2021, so almost 9 months dry. It’s been hard but I feel so much better.

AA might be a good start. It works for millions.

Yes, to the quit lit. I read plenty. Craig Beck Alcohol Lied to Me is a wonderful book which dispels all the myths about alcohol 'I enjoy it/it relaxes me/I need it to party' I was drinking around a bottle a night unless I went out when it was more . I read it and stopped drinking immediately. Nearly 3 years sober and I don't miss it .

You need proper medical help. Would you consider inpatient rehab? You are damaging your children’s lives. Are you back driving again?

Yes nimbus, I am driving again but no drink driving. On the nights I've had 2-3 bottles I don't drive at all the next day. You obviously looked at my past posts.

NC for this, 1sf time I've ever changed my user name.

I am exactly the same OP. Everything you describe. Probably go through one or two more a week. Have hidden bottles, and decanted from one to another to hide the quantity.

I'm not sure if I'm ready, but watching this thread.

Your post really resonates with me.

It's really hard tempusername isn't it?

As for inpatient rehab- am I severe enough to be considered for that??
Am I running my children's lives?? As I said I minimise it as much as I can.

With your family’s support would you consider rehab? You are in danger of losing them.

Yes you are re rehab.

Yes, I would do rehab.

Speak to your dh. Tonight.
Ask him to go with you to your doctor.
It isn’t easy but you need support to do this.

I have a good friend who did a 5 week stint in residential rehab 3 years ago. They have not had an alcoholic drink since then. It’s difficult and hard and facing demons wasn’t easy but their life and their family’s life is unrecognisable from what it was in 2018.

@PurpleDaisy2114 - I hear you. I am just over 3 weeks sober after many decades of harmful drinking. It’s hard but so worth it. I was drinking in secret - or so I thought when it was obvious to everyone when I’d been drinking. I once got through 40 (yes forty) bottles of vodka in 2 months “in secret” plus drank wine with others. So I know how hard it is to stop.

I’m in Scotland and am a health care professional and no way would anyone get in patient rehab on the NHS - they would need to go private costing £000s. Not sure where you are but it is more likely you will get community / out patient help - in my experience , you would only get admitted as an in patient if you had severe withdrawal ie full DTs, seizures etc. Again that is rare even with chronic abusers who have drank daily at dangerous levels for years (about 5% will get DTs).

Speak to your GP and be honest. Your DC WILL a million % be affected by this - I mean this with kindness but don’t kid yourself that “minimising” it will help. It will still massively affect them.

I also recommend This Naked Mind - I tried AA and it didn’t gel with me. TNM is for me much more helpful and supportive. They have both free and purchase resources and there is a great Facebook group you can join - it is very active and thousands of people who have been though/ are going through what you have. It’s really helped me and I post every day and when I have cravings - it’s much more active than mumsnet for alcohol support. 💐❤️

I’m in Scotland and am a health care professional and no way would anyone get in patient rehab on the NHS

Edit - someone in the position you describe would not be admitted. Only those having seizures, jaundiced, suicidal or the DTs. Otherwise managed as outpatient. Priory is around £4K a week (l got quote as I was so desperate) although some private medical insurance will help with the cost. Priory also do private outpatient for about £1k a week.

Thank you stuckhere.

Through your GP you can access community alcohol support ( you may be able to self refer depending where you are )

Your GP may also refer you for screening

Both these things can take time though but it would be good to get the ball rolling

As @Stuckhere2021 has said it’s not likely you would be considered for nhs inpatient detox . The community teams support with community detox and work towards rehab if needed but it takes months and a lot of personal engagement .

You have a lot of reasons to stop drinking . Keep talking on here . You can do this