Long story short husband has recently had a wake up call and is coming to terms with his alcohol problem. So far this journey had been all about him and not about the effect it has had on us and our kids (fine I’ll give him that, he needs to work through this). He showed me some info from AA about sobriety and I was supportive. It talks about “don’t pick up that first drink” being that all binges and bad behaviour stem ultimately from that first drink, got it.
I thought this would be an appropriate moment to tell him that that’s also where my boundary now lays. I said if he has a first drink I am going to remove myself and our children from the situation. As in - leave the party, leave the house wherever we are. That’s what I need to do to ensure our physical and emotional well-being. Not wait until drink 3 or 7 or 16.
He is now angry with me that I have given him an “ultimatum”, it’s not helpful to him he says. He’s taking 24 hours at a time and that knowledge/ threat is too much pressure.
Am I being too firm too soon? I thought I was laying out my healthy boundaries as a responsible parent. He has made the choice off his own back to join AA and attend meetings so it’s not an ultimatum as such.
Am I wrong? I can’t take it back now anyway!