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Alcohol support
Overcoming stage 1 alcoholism advise pls?
CaramelEmporium · 31/08/2021 11:37
Hello all. To cut a long story short my husband has come out as a stage one alcoholic. He doesn’t drink much but when he does drink is it too excess. It’s reached the head he has accepted that he has a problem and if he wants to fix it.
I need to decide if I support him or walk away. I appreciate everybody’s story is different and I need to do some reading up and making some informed choices but I suppose my general question is what does overcoming stage one alcoholism look like? does it mean giving up drinking completely or does it mean learning to manage your intake to normal and acceptable for want of a better way of putting it?
Does anybody come back from it or can it only get worse? He’s always been like this for a number of years so I don’t ever see it escalating to a point of being what I think of is a traditional alcoholic…ie waking up in the morning and drinking all day but maybe I am normalising his behaviour.
I don’t know…I’m just rambling for the most part is a great husband good dad et cetera but every few weeks he binges and it has changed in that our child is old enough to be aware of it now.
Thanks in advance for any thoughts x
MulberrySquash · 31/08/2021 20:51
I can't pretend to know what stage 1 alcoholism is, but I can tell you from my own experience of living with an alcoholic that you really can't moderate. If you have problematic drinking, you can't just learn to drink 'normally'.
CaramelEmporium · 31/08/2021 21:44
Stage 1 is basically binge drinking and losing control. DH can, and does sometimes, just have a couple of pints and that’s all and doesn’t drink at all a lot of the time. But occasionally, perhaps once every 6-8 weeks he will be absolutely on it to the point of falling over and losing control….it’s interesting because a couple of helplines he’s spoken to today, neither have said that he necessarily has to stop drinking entirely and forever though they both did suggest one month of being dry to start with. He doesn’t drink at home and never has, the out of control drinking is only sometimes and in certain social situations. I am not trying to minimise it even though perhaps the words I’m using sound like I am. Husband seems to be in a very positive place feels a weight has been lifted off the shoulders and he is absolutely acknowledged and said he has a problem and is a stage one alcoholic. I think perhaps I have a problem with the ‘alcoholic’ just the actual word. ‘Problem with alcohol’ doesn’t sound as bad 
MulberrySquash · 31/08/2021 22:37
It's just semantics really though isn't it. Alcoholic,binge drinker, problem drinker etc. The positive thing is that he has owned the fact he is struggling to control his drinking and is seeking support. Hopefully he will continue to engage with whichever method he chooses to follow to address the issue.
I'm probably not best placed to advise you, my ex never tried to stop and it broke us. I wish you both well.
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