Can't seem to kick it...can't seem to get help to kick it

[NeedHelpCantGetIt]

I drink a bottle of wine a day, every day, start the same time, finish the same time. Recently creeping above that one bottle.

I eat shite when I drink...and so the weight is piling on. Im worried about my health, yet can't seem to stop. The thought of stopping scares me.

I fessed up to the GP years ago, they referred me to the local drugs/alcohol service who suggested counselling. I ended up in therapy for 3 years, which in some ways was good for me, however I was drinking more by the end of it. (It's traumatic raking over my past. ) So I went back to GP recently since nothing has changed...they have referred me again, want me to have counselling again, and I am on a waiting list of god knows how many months.

I've read every recovery self help book going, joined all manner of online groups, followed MN threads, tried all sorts of online therapy eg SMART. I just can't seem to do it.

What can I try next?? The thought of going back to counselling is depressing to put it mildly.

Pm you!

@Reallyhadenough Nothing came through?

2 weeks ago I was the same. I have other posts about wanting to learn to moderate etc.
2 weeks ago on the Sunday I just thought, I can't carry on like this, enough is enough.
I haven't drank anything that whole time, except for last night.
I signed up the The Alcohol Experiment and I also wrote a journal to myself, being brutally honest about why I need to ditch the habit. I can honestly say writing it out was the most cathartic thing I think I have ever done. It was the best therapy I never knew I needed.

Anyway, last night, I had done all my work, made a really nice dinner and thought, you know what? I fancy a glass of wine tonight, I can moderate. So DH bought a bottle and we shared it.

We can both honestly say, it added nothing to our evening. Not a positive, not a negative. We just didn't need jt. I didn't even enjoy it. It's because I actually thought about the consequences and was being mindful about what I was doing. That's it for us now. We're not saying we will never drink again but we've discovered it's just not doing it for us anymore. I truly believe that's because of the underlying thought processes I have picked up from The alcohol experiment and my journal.

I would strongly reccomend attempting the same.

You dont mention AA? Friends of mine swear by it

Simple answer AA I am now 15 years sober
It's always available 24/7

Following

AA
DM is 42 years sober

Thanks for replies. Dont you need to be a christian for AA? Im a total atheist.

Thats amazing @hashbrownsandwich I will have a look at the alcohol expt

@NeedHelpCantGetIt

Thanks for replies. Dont you need to be a christian for AA? Im a total atheist.

No you absolutely dont. You don't need to have any religion.

They use the word "god" but you'll find many, if not most, members aren't religious at all and it really doesn't matter.

I've just had enough of it. Im all for having a social drink but my days of cracking open a bottle in the house are over.

@NeedHelpCantGetIt

Thanks for replies. Dont you need to be a christian for AA? Im a total atheist.

Not at all

The principle is that you become/stay sober for a higher power. That could be God, it could be your children, it could be the Planet Earth, but something you care about and don’t want to let down. DM (mentioned above) is not particularly religious, but AA worked for her. It doesn’t resonate with everybody, but it’s worth a try. Many meetings have gone back to face to face. You do need to book, but they always reserve a space for newcomers.