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Alcohol support

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Advice with social service referral

6 replies

Anonmum123 · 24/08/2021 16:51

I need advice as I am pregnant and my midwife has referred us to social services due to partners addiction issues.

Back story: my partner would take cocaine on nights out with friends maybe once or twice a month. I then became pregnant and he decided not to do it anymore as it affects his anxiety (he worries about his heart) One morning when my baby was about 7 months old I had a call early in the morning I assumed it would be from my partner as he had been out with friends. It was from the ER. My partner had went in because he thought his heart was going too fast and I was informed he had taken cocaine. I was shocked and angry.

But when my partner got home I realised the issue was bigger than him just taking it socially. He broke down and told me he knows it's a problem as he can't go out for a drink with friends without doing it. He'd been out 5 or 6 times since our baby was born.

My HV had been notified of his visit to the ER and called. By this point my partner had already joined Alcoholics Anonymous, went to a meeting every day and was trying to get a sponsor. She was happy that he had found support and just wanted to let us know there were other options as well. She visited to do my babies check up and was happy with his progress and didn't really mention my partners issue apart from to ask how he was.

I have now found out I am pregnant and in my call with the midwife when she asked about drug use I advised my partner is in a program and has been sober since, this is about a month and half later. She has advised that she had to refer us to social services. Naturally I am worried that mine or my partners commitment to caring for our children properly will be questioned. I am not sure what happens next and really just want to know if anyone has an experience or advice with this?

My partner has never been drunk or on drugs around our baby. And our baby is happy, healthy and developing well & we have lots of support around us.

OP posts:
Nocutenamesleft · 24/08/2021 16:56

Unfortunately his addictions will definitely sparks SS referrals. The midwife has done the right thing.

I don’t know about what action they’ll take.

I hope for your sake it all works out.

Anonmum123 · 24/08/2021 17:13

I understand. I really like my midwife. Same one I had with first pregnancy.

I'm just hoping for reassurance that what will be offered is further support and understanding and not judgment and condemnation from social services.

Looking into it myself I see that the aim is to help and support families but I suppose I am just feeling a bit anxious being in a totally new situation.

I am proud of my partner for recognising that he has a problem, when you do it as often as he did it's easy to reason with yourself that you're no different from your friends. My dad is an alcoholic and it took him till into his 30s to do this and he has now been sober 16 years following the same program.

OP posts:
Nocutenamesleft · 24/08/2021 17:57

Have they been in contact yet?

Anonmum123 · 24/08/2021 18:04

No I only spoke with the midwife today.

She has said she doesn't know if it what I've reported meets the threshold for involvement. She did say it was a positive that he has got himself into a program.

OP posts:
DonnieDark · 24/08/2021 18:09

Hi OP, I'm currently in secondary addiction care after a month in a psychiatric hospital on an intensive addiction programme and social services called me today about my 8 yr old. I explained I'm going through treatment, and will have support when I leave for 50/50 care of my ds again and they then called my ex, and said they will just do some health and education checks and then the case should be closed.

I had the same worries as you but it wasn't as bad as I thought.

Anonmum123 · 24/08/2021 18:25

@DonnieDark

Hi OP, I'm currently in secondary addiction care after a month in a psychiatric hospital on an intensive addiction programme and social services called me today about my 8 yr old. I explained I'm going through treatment, and will have support when I leave for 50/50 care of my ds again and they then called my ex, and said they will just do some health and education checks and then the case should be closed.

I had the same worries as you but it wasn't as bad as I thought.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

It sounds like there's nothing to worry about. I suppose it's the fear of the unknown and the horror stories you hear.

I wish you well on your recovery. Addiction is an illness and I wish everyone understood that.

OP posts:
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