New partner, bi-polar and alcoholism

[awishes]

Hello, dies anyone have any experience? I'm gutted that after being completely understanding and supportive of this mh issue he turns to alcohol to self medicate. 3 times in the past month and this last binge took away 5 days of my life I felt. This was during a manic high.
Do I walk away?

Yes. You do. Doesn’t matter how supportive and understanding you are. This is the best it will get. New relationship not too much pressure etc.

Yes, you do. Not your problem to solve.

Walk away.

Walk away and have a good think about why you have become involved with a very needy man like this when you could have a relationship with someone fantastic.

Yes, walk away.
Read up on the 3C’s - you didn’t Cause it, you can’t Control it and you can’t Cure it.

No you don't walk away, you run as fast as you can.

Don't waste any more of your life on a deeply damaged person who will eventually drag you down with them.

I speak from bitter experience.

Bipolar unless well managed by medication is a serious disorder and probably not worth your time of day pursuing a relationship. Things can turn very nasty quickly. I would walk away if you want to save your MH. It sounds as though he is having episodes which are presently not managed well by medication (maybe he is not on the right meds or something) so I would say walk away. I have seen family members' lives turned upside down by bipolar relationships.

Thank you. I knew in my heart but very sad. I know I'm the type of person who wants to make everything ok so this is the worst thing that could have happened to me!!

Took away five days of your life? That’s extreme. Don’t allow that to happen again.

You didn't make this happen, and you can't fix it. If you have a tendency to want to fix everything, this is a bad situation for you. I imagine you have exhausted yourself trying to make things better, but his actions don't reflect on you.

Use this as an opportunity to learn more about what you need from a relationship, and what you need to avoid in future.

Walk away. If you don't, you will be signing up for a lifetime of heartbreak.

@OneAugustNight
Yes I spent 2 days trying to get him to admit he was drinking, then 3 days trying to get him to stop and take his medication. All remotely as we live 2 hours from each other. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting.

@awishes

Thank you. I knew in my heart but very sad. I know I'm the type of person who wants to make everything ok so this is the worst thing that could have happened to me!!

I am similar, if I give enough or try hard enough it will make a difference. I learned the hard way with an ex that doesn't. Protect your lovely self, he will drain the life out of you and continue just as before.

If someone is in a manic high there is absolutely nothing you can do to get them to stop other than encourage them to take their meds and seek medical help.

In this scenario I would walk (I'm bipolar by the way)

Sounds like you could use reading up about co-dependency and co-dependent relationships. Your tendencies sound particularly inclined towards wanting to help and fix people but to your ultimate detriment. There are some great websites and youtube videos about it and recognising it is the first step.

Please walk away. I have first hand experience of this. I wasted 10 years of my life on someone - and gained a mental illness myself from the stress of it all.

Please run.

Advice?

Run

[quote awishes]@OneAugustNight
Yes I spent 2 days trying to get him to admit he was drinking, then 3 days trying to get him to stop and take his medication. All remotely as we live 2 hours from each other. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting.[/quote]
That was not a healthy response from you. I think you need to reflect upon your own behaviours before entering any further relationships.

How long have you been together? How did you meet? If he is a long-distance away do you spend time together face to face?

I would also say that you need to walk away. Do you want to spend a huge portion of your life worrying and chasing after him the way you did when he was drinking?

@DownToTheSeaAgain
Thank you, much appreciated.

Yes, run.

You describe my step son.He married really quickly into a relationship, fell apart leaving a wife and toddler.
Within a year he has a new partner, another baby and two step children...we are just waiting...
He doesn't make decisions with any care, you doesn't learn from the past, he damages relationships with and between his family and expects everyone to pick up the pieces whilst he merrily reinvents himself and carries on.

Look after you.

@Gingerkittykat
Thank you and everyone who has replied.
Yes we meet often, weekends together.sometines at my home. Red flag to me that I have not been invited to his. He seems to have been very honest about all of it (previous to this episode). It has happened twice before but not to this extent.
He had only just had a psych appt. Which was why I was particularly frustrated that he didn't follow his suggestions as to how to deal with extra anxiety.
Thank you again.