Im so fed up with drinking, I want to stop

[MyLifeNow20]

My evening goes like this (single parent to 3 girls)
Cook them dinner, get youngest into bed, pour glass wine, have a shower and tidy up then sit down. I will normally have crackers or toast at 9pm
I drink a bottle a night, maybe with a can of gin on top too.
Evenings are so boring and I am lonely sitting on my own and this is what I do.
I am now fed up with waking up anxious every morning and feeling like shit. I am fed up with the stone I have put on.
I know what I need to do to live a healthy life style but every night I reach for the wine..... So badly want to stop

You need to take it a step at a time.
Start by not pouring that first glass, or pour it and put it down the sink.
Don’t have that first drink until you’ve had a shower and tidied up. Keep doing it until it becomes a habit and your normal routine.
Do not buy the gin anymore. Don’t allow yourself to do it.

Buy some nice teas and a few easy to read books. Start an interesting series on tv. Start learning a language or other course online. Buy yourself something nice with the money you would have spent after a week. Try a few books or apps about drinking and sobriety. I liked the one by Catherine grey.

You can stop. It will be hard but it’s doable.

I would try and find something to replace the boredom with. A new evening crafts hobby? A good box set? Invite friends over for a chat and take away?

Thank you for your replies.
I am taking my children away next week mon- fri and thinking it might be the change in routine I need

Im rubbish with TV as I dont concentrate. I do enjoy playing sims on my laptop though!

You can do this x

It's so easy for the alcohol to slip into your life. At first it's a couple of glasses ( to relax), then it's a bottle a night, then 1 bottle no longer hits the spot and you need 2...that my story anyway. There are a few things you can do ;

1. join an online forum ( soberistas, club soda) ; both brilliant sites with lovely, supportive, non judgmental people.
2. sign up for Annie Grace 30 day alcohol experiment ( free) ; it will help you question your relationship with alcohol. Highly recommended.
3. speak to your gp ( not the easiest thing to do at the moment but it's an idea)
4. join us on our thread ( 30 days from now). We're nearing the end of our 30 days but we've all found it really helpful and are starting another thread when this one ends. Most of us are trying to moderate, possibly abstain in the future. We'll support you. I'll message you on a daily basis if you want.

And start by making a list of all the things you'll gain by not drinking. When I made my list there were 50 points on it !
You can do it. It's just a habit, albeit a dangerous, addictive one. But you can do it.

Well done for wanting to stop. As a child of an alcoholic single mother, believe me when I say that stopping drinking will be the best thing you ever do for your children. It won’t be easy, but do it now before it’s too late. Good luck

It could be the ritual you like rather than the drink? Try some non-alcoholic alternatives? I think non alcoholic gin is yucky but tonic water over ice with a lime slice might do it? I found a sparking wine in Waitrose called 'naughty' that was really nice! Good luck!

Yes it is the ritual and habit. Not sure I would like tonic but will look into alternatives!

I found the book The Naked Mind (recommended on here) extremely useful in helping me to cut back.

I've been drinking some nice wine mixers. Echo falls do some and I had a sparkling one from the coop recently. These have about half the alcohol content of wine. Might be a good starting point.

Yeah you need to stop while you can, rather than getting to a crisis point. Evenings are obviously a trigger for you... boredom and loneliness. What else could you do? These boards are really busy in the evenings if you want to chat to other people. Watch something funny on TV? Mindful colouring or crafts if you like stuff like that? Something to keep your mind occupied?

Sounds like you have got a wee routine, maybe defer any wine till after shower? I have been listening to a podcast “take a break from drinking” Rachel Hart, you could put one of them on(half an hour) while you do sth mindful after your shower instead of straight to tv(if that is what you do)-break the routine? The first night you do sth different will be the hardest, but I am sure you can cut back easily with some observation of your desire to have a wine and some distraction. Hard gig, three kids on your own, but you can destress in other ways that won’t give you more anxiety. Good luck 👍🏼👍🏼