Giving up alcohol in your late 20's

[Awomanneedingadvice]

Hi everyone,

I am new to the topic of alcohol on Mumsnet.

My experience with alcohol is probably considered normal for my age and living in the UK. I started drinking around 14/15 at parties with my friends and ever since I've binge drank 50% of the weekends and been on drink fuelled girls holidays ect. I am now in my late 20's. I never considered myself to have a problem with alcohol and barely drink anything throughout the week or at home. My mum is an alcoholic and I have always been wary of going down the same path because it ruined my childhood.

Over the past few years my hangovers have gradually gotten worse and the hangover anxiety oh lord, sometimes is just unbearable. I went out a few weekends ago and had only 4 ciders. This isn't a lot for me and I felt tipsy but I wouldn't say I was drunk. The way I felt the next day for the whole day was horrendous. I was puking in the morning and I felt so down for days.

I'd say for the past few months I have been considering giving up alcohol completely or for at least for a year to see how I get on. I am so worried how this will effect my friendships. I am very sure my friends will be supportive however some of our socialising is drinking and going out ect. I'd still like to go out, got to bars, have a dance but just without the alcohol. Does anyone have any experience with this and have any tips?

Thanks xx

Instead of cutting it out all together have you tried making every other drink a glass of water ?
I've found this really helps with not getting too drunk and pretty much stops the hangovers

You absolutely can go out and have a fabulous time without drinking! If you friends don't understand that they are stuck in some sort of timewarp.

I've had some of my best nights out when pregnant or breast feeding or driving or just choosing not to drink. Honestly, try it! That liberating feeling of knowing you won't be hungover the next day is brilliant.

I stopped drinking in my early 30s. Like you, my hangovers were getting worse and worse, lasting for days at a time. Binge drinking was my MO, so I'd go weeks without a drink and then on one night out drink enough to make up for it. I would wake up and wonder what I'd spent, lost, damaged and what stupid stuff I'd done or said. A lot of it I don't remember and that's probably a blessing.

Stopping has been the best thing I've ever done. It was hard. I tried AA for a bit but that wasn't for me. Some of my friendships didn't survive it, but to be honest that's ok. I have changed and the friendships that have survived it were able to change too.

I met my DH after I'd been sober for around 12 months and I honestly don't think we would have lasted if I had still been drinking. My life now wouldn't be possible if I was still drinking and was still the person I was then.

One thing I strongly believe is that, for me, cutting down or only having a couple wasn't an option. I don't have an internal system that tells me to stop and I would just drink and drink and drink. So switching every other drink for water, or only allowing myself a set number of drinks just didn't work.

Someone said to me that you only have to say no to the first drink, I found that thought useful because at the start if I thought about never drinking again it was overwhelming. I'm coming up for 9 years sober now and it's actually not such a big thing anymore. It has gotten easier.

Oh and around the still going out - at first I chose not too, I found that part too difficult so we would meet for dinner or do something else. A lot of that was down to my anxiety so if you are comfortable going to pubs etc then I think you will find it's easier than you imagine at first. Personally I can't dance sober so I don't

Yep. Exactly the same situation as you. Binge drank at weekends and then it suddenly caught up with me about 5 years ago (late 20s). Disabling anxiety attacks for days after the weekend to the extent I sometimes couldn’t function. Strong family history of alcoholism.

I would love to say I haven’t ever regretted giving up alcohol. I used to love how liberated it made me feel. It gave me a voice to socialise - something sober me struggled with. If I’m honest, nights out weren’t the same for me. Although I was coming to the end of regular ‘nights out’ anyway (anything more than the pub).

Overall however, I’m glad I did it. I’ve been pleasantly surprised how few of my friends and associates don’t give a sh*t and actually, how many are either drastically reducing or stopping all together as well. Really, it’s only me who felt significantly different socialising - I don’t think most others noticed.

If you go for it, accept the first few social events will feel alien and awkward and you might be wishing them to be over. I asked a good mate to be sober with me which really helped. Persevere with seeing people and it’ll get significantly easier. I don’t really notice now - it’s been a while due to lockdown and baby but I feel completely at ease sober on the dance floor now!

Hope it goes well for you x

Thank you for all your you advice. I have tried nights where I drink every other drink and drink a lot of water in between and whilst it helps with the hangover the anxiety for the next few days is still terrible. Normal sober me is not an anxious person either. I will give it a go for 3 months and see how I get on